Wasted Time
by PCGirl
Summary: John and Natalie find out the ONS has resulted in a new life, but how do they get their lives together for their baby when there's been so much time wasted already?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello everyone! Hope you enjoy my latest story--it's coming along slowly, but hey--at least it's coming along. hehehe. Everyone enjoy! Until next time--ya'll are the best--PCGirl.

* * *

Disclaimer: All characters are property of ABC/Disney--I'm just using them for my own entertainment and will put them back where I found them when I'm done. ;)

"What did you just say?" asked Natalie as she stood in her office.

"I lied--I'm not your uncle, Natalie," he said and waited for some sort of reaction--anything that would give him hope that he hadn't royally screwed this up. It'd been a week since the Go Red Ball and he was tired of waking up from dreaming about Natalie and knowing he couldn't have her. So here he was—standing in her office and laying it out on the line—hoping she'd fine it in herself to forgive him one day.

Natalie just stood there in shock--she couldn't tell if he was conning her, but something in her gut told herself to believe him--that it would explain why she couldn't seem to get him out of her head for all these months, "Why did you do it?"

"I wanted the name Buchanan--and I thought this was my chance. What I didn't realize was getting the name meant I had to give up you--and I can't, you are in my blood too much now."

"So you think it's just a switch? Just like that you'll tell me we can be together and I'll be ok with that--that I'll be able to forgive you just like that and go back to you? Talk to Cris and John--they'll tell you that I don't take lying to me lightly. Now please leave before I have you escorted from the building," she said as she sat down and went to work on her computer--not looking up so he could have a chance to say anything else. "Oh, and Jared?" she said, still without looking up. "I expect you to tell the family first thing at the board meeting tomorrow--or I will."

He didn't say anything, just nodded and finished walking out of the office.

* * *

"You know--it doesn't really surprise me that he was lying. The whole family is going to be better off without him," said Jessica as she gave the Rodi's waitress a polite nod when she delivered their food. She watched her sister for a moment and was surprised when she squirted ketchup on her fries instead of her normal mustard, "No mustard?"

"God no--for the past few months the thought of it makes me naseous," said Natalie as she held her stomach. "It's so strange--I've ate mustard on my fries since I was a kid, but since Christmas I just can't."

"I know what you mean--the entire time I was pregnant with Bree I couldn't even think about eating anything citrus--oranges, lemons, grapefruit--it all made me sick. But as soon as I had her I was back to my normal self," said Jessica--oblivious to the look on her sister's face.

Natalie just smiled at Jessica as the conversation turned to what cute thing Bree had done lately.

* * *

Natalie sat on the edge of her bed--she'd gone to the store last night and bought a test. This all still felt so surreal, but here she was waiting for the timer in her bathroom to ding though she knew the answer already. She'd never missed a cycle her whole life, even with the stress of both Cris' death and John's also--she still was regular. And now she was more than six weeks late.

She thought about how she'd tell John--what his reaction would be. He'd never really mentioned kids before--but it didn't matter. She raised herself alone while Roxy drank and gambled their money away--she could raise her child alone if need be with as much love and devotion as two parents.

She heard the timer ding and walked into the bathroom, looking down at the results and she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She bit her lip and decided she'd make a detour to the hotel and tell John before starting her day at BE.

Whatever the future held--whatever he decided, she knew from here on out she wasn't just making decisions for herself, but for the child that she was already loving.

* * *

He was surprised by the knock on the door--it was early and he hadn't been expecting company. As he opened the door a half smile appeared on John's face--it'd been way too long since he'd seen Natalie and was glad she'd decided to stop by for a visit--obviously on her way to work by the way she was dressed, "Hey--you want to come in?"

Natalie smiled at him as their blue eyes locked, "Sure--it's won't take long, I've got to get to work soon." She walked in and noticed everything seemed the same. She glanced at the slot machine and she got a puzzled look on her face as she walked over towards it and placed her finger on the ragged edge of the broken glass, "Is this a--?"

John laughed at her reaction, "Yes--it's a bullet hole, put there by Ramsey when he was shooting at Shane and Gigi."

Natalie laughed too, though the thought of danger entering John's home worried her, "I'm glad you were there to protect him--he's just a kid," she said and suddenly tears filled her eyes.

"Hey--what's wrong?" he asked as he came towards her.

"Nothing, I'm fine," she said as she put her head down and tried to make the tears stop. "I--I just never imagined telling you like this. I thought we'd be married, or at least together. Not like this--where we rarely see each other and our child was conceived after a long night of drinking."

"Our child? Conceived?"

Natalie froze--she hadn't realized she'd been talking out loud. She looked up and met his eyes--there was confusion in them already and she decided she might as well just say it--no reason to beat around the bush, "I'm pregnant."

John just stood there in front of Natalie--unsure of what to do or say. Had he just heard her right? She was pregnant with his child? He felt his heart beat just a little faster at hearing the words--he'd pictured children with Natalie, but he thought their chance had passed.

He put his hand on her elbow and motioned her towards the orange couch and then walked around the back of it, pulling open the drawer of his desk and taking out the small black box without hesitation before going back and sitting down on the coffee table in front of her, "I know this is probably in bad taste--I mean most people are engaged and married before they have kids, but this is the best thing for all of us."

Natalie looked up at him and started laughing--even after seeing the confusion return to his normal blank facade she couldn't stop. Finally she rubbed her face and was able to, "I'm sorry--I--John this isn't the answer. I didn't come here to try and tie you down with a commitment. Don't take this the wrong way, but we aren't ready for marriage."

"Before--,"

"Before I thought it would help our screwed up relationship and I learned then that it didn't and I still don't think it would. I just came by to let you know--so you can prepare yourself at the thought of being a father."

John smiled at hearing her say the words and then chuckled a little, "I'm going to be a dad."

Natalie smiled a bit also now, "Yeah."

"You know--if there's anyone I want to be the mother of my child--it's you. You are going to be amazing," he said as he brushed a loose strand of her firey red hair away from her beautiful face.

"Thanks--I think I needed to hear that reassurance," she said as she stood up and went towards the door. "I've got to get to work, but I'll call you when I have my first doctor's appointment--that is if you want to come," she said, backtracking herself.

"I wouldn't miss it," he said as he stood, stuffed his hands in his pockets and watched her again walk out of his apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

Natalie took a final look in her compact mirror before straightening her suit and walking out of her office--her eyes were a bit puffy from the tears she'd spilled at John's earlier, but she thought she could blow it off as a lack of sleep if anyone asked.

She saw Jared standing outside the boardroom, his hands crossed in front of him and walking towards her at seeing her, "Can we talk?", he said and then paused, becoming concerned by her eyes, "You ok? You look like you've been crying."

"I'm fine," she said as they went into the empty board room. "Did you make your decision?" she asked, her voice firm--if he wasn't going to tell her family the truth today then she would.

He nodded softly, "I'm going to announce it first thing at the beginning of the meeting--Nigel's packing my suitcase as I speak."

"How would--he knew?" she looked at him--surprised by that revelation more than she was that he wasn't even her Uncle.

"Don't blame him--he's a good man, I conned him into it."

"I never would have," she said as the family started to walk in and they all took their seats.

When everyone was seated Jared stood up, messing with the button on his coat in nervousness and wondering if he should have taken a chair closer to the door--he'd seen Clint pull a gun on a man once at the ranch, and he suddenly worried that he might have one in his office, "I want to tell you all something--it's important and it affects all of us--," he said, stopping when there was a knock on the door.

"Hold on just a moment, Jared," said Clint as he opened the door and shook hands with the man before bringing him into the room. "Everyone--I want you to meet James Lansing. I've hired him to help us look find new international acquisitions. He comes with quiet the resume, but I'll let him tell you all that," as Clint took his seat and Jared did the same.

Natalie wasn't listening to a word the man said though--she was her eyes were on Jared. He was focused on what the man was saying, but as hard as she tried he wouldn't make eye contact with her. If he thought he was getting out of the truth he was sadly mistaken.

* * *

John tried to focus on his work, but since he walked in the door all he could think of was Natalie was pregnant with his child. Every time the thought of holding his newborn baby came into his mind he started smiling, and then the realization that him and Natalie weren't together hit him. Their breakup had always been hard on him--despite what he said, or didn't say, but now--knowing there was something that would tie them together forever it made him realize how maybe he should start fighting for her.

He hadn't fought before--had known she needed to find herself, that she didn't feel like the same person as she was before the accident. He knew he should do the same for himself during their off period, but as hard as he tried he couldn't figure out exactly who he was without her nearby.

A knock came on his office door and he absently said for the person to enter. Looking up he saw Officer Davis come in with a paper in his hands, "They pulled this from the security tapes at Saint Anne's--I'm going out of line on this, but thought you might to see it before Ramsey."

John took the picture and a curse came out of his breath, "Has anyone else seen this?"

"No sir. I figure even if she doesn't work here anymore she's still a part of our family here at the station--I was thinking you could get her side of the story first. If Ramsey sees it he'll just throw her in a cell--we can't do that to one of our own, can we?"

"No, we can't. Thanks Davis--and if anyone asks about the pictures from the tapes tell them the lab is still working on them," he said as he got up and grabbed his jacket before heading out.

* * *

"Well, I really don't care how the paperwork suddenly vanished--find it and get it up to me asap," said Natalie loudly into the phone. After the board meeting Jared had been swooped off by her father to go with Mr. Lansing on a tour of the company and then go over the interests that he and Natalie had been working on. She never did get a chance to ask Jared why he changed his mind on telling the family he wasn't one of them.

"See--I told you paperwork doesn't just vanish," groaned Natalie as she walked around to answer her knocking office door. Opening it quickly but instead of finding some assistant of an assistant she came face to face with John. "John--this isn't a good time. I want to talk about the baby too--but things--they are going crazy right now."

"I'm not here about the baby--but I am kinda bummed you broke your promise on calling me when you joined the convent," said John as he handed her the pictures that Davis had given him.

Natalie's eyes went wide with shock as she dragged him into the office and closed the door behind her, locking it for good measure, "I can explain."

"Please do. Because I don't want to have to watch my child grow inside you between a Plexiglas window over at Statesville."

Natalie walked over to the couch she had to the side of her office. She took a seat and John took the chair across from her while she told everything. When she was finished he stood up and took a deep breath, "So it was Jessica's idea?"

She was shocked that was all he had to say, normally she figured she'd at least get a 'damn it, Natalie' in, but he didn't seem to be angry that she'd helped break out a known psychopath-baby stealer out of a mental facility, "She thought Alison Perkins had something to tell her--something relating to our family--now we both realize the woman just wanted to terrorize us again."

"Yeah. This isn't going to be easy as the missing fibers--but I can make it work," he muttered to himself.

"What?" she asked, shooting up out of her seat. "I don't need you covering my ass, John," she said loudly.

"I'm--I'm not--but this isn't like normal where we can go to Bo with the findings and it gets swept under the rug."

"You used to not be one to sweep things under rug John--when did the line blur for you?"

"I--it just did," he said as they were interrupted by someone trying to open her office door and finding it locked. "Somebody is looking for you--I better not keep you any longer," he said as she went to the door, opening it to see Jared on the other side.

"What? What's going on?" asked Jared, as he walked in and looked between the two of them. "You already told him? Just because I didn't say it earlier you've already decided to involve the police in this?"

"It isn't all about you Jared," she said as she looked at John who was looking back at her quizzically, "We'll talk later--ok? About everything--I need to schedule that appointment--I'll let you know when it is," she said as John gave her a silent nod, sized up Jared one more time and then left the room.

"You want to tell me why he was here?"

"It's none of your business, Jared. Tell me why you chickened out of telling the truth earlier, Jared? Jessica already knows--and I'm sure you would rather be the one to explain yourself to my father than either of us."

"It's the same reason I took that guy on the tour--I don't trust him. I don't think he's who he says he is," he whispered into her ear, enough to take in the scent of her shampoo and causing himself to lose his focus.

Natalie laughed, taking a large step back from Jared and going behind her desk for safety, "Oh because you are exactly who you have been saying you are for months. This coming from the man that walked in here with a bogus resume to try and sweep me into giving him a job."

"If you are so wanting the truth to come out then let's go tell dear old daddy," he said, not expecting her take the bait.

"Ok, let's go."

* * *

John walked into Capricorn expecting to find a quiet spot on the bar and ignore any stares that came his way, and if he'd been looking he would have seen Natalie sitting there in the booth with her brother and Gigi and had time to slip out before she saw him. But he wasn't paying attention so he had to turn towards her when she called his name in surprise, "Hey."

"Oh my God, John--what happened?" she asked as she jumped up and quickly moved to John who had a shiner on the side of his face that hadn't been there this afternoon.

"Nothing--I'm fine," he said as she motioned him to a seat. He looked over to Rex for some sort of assistance and saw him and Gigi quickly getting up and leaving. "Thanks guys," he groaned as they left. "Couldn't wait to get out of here fast enough--could they?"

Natalie said nothing, just poured some ice and water into the cloth napkin and put it against John's face, "Hold this."

He couldn't help but give a slight laugh--he loved how she always tended to him when he was hurt, whether physically or just emotionally. Maybe that's how they got to the point they were at now, "To answer your question--Todd decked me one. That was after I went to talk to him about the way he nearly killed Cole after the he caught the kid in bed with Starr."

"Oh my God--poor Starr."

John gave a slight laugh again, "Of course, if I were to walk in on our teenage daughter in the manner that Manning did I'd probably have the same reaction."

Natalie got silent and just watched John sitting there, with a cold and wet napkin pressed against his face, "You already think it's a girl?"

"Well, I--I guess it could be a boy, but I'd rather think it's a girl and she's as beautiful as her mother," he said, staring into her eyes and realizing he was slowly getting lost in them but not caring.

"I--uhm--that's really sweet to say--oh, I was going to call you and tell you my first appointment is going to be Thursday at 11:30. It'll be at the hospital because they want to do an ultrasound right away since it's later in the pregnancy than normal."

"I'll be there," he said as he watched her quickly gather her purse and coat before leaving him sitting there alone at the empty table.


	3. Chapter 3

Natalie sat quietly in the hospital waiting room second guessing herself about not calling John the night before to remind him again of her appointment. She remembered how he said he wouldn't miss it so she had figured he would be here without anymore nagging on her part. If he didn't show she'd make sure the next time she saw him that he had to make a decision, to either be in this child's life 100 or none at all. It was bad enough when he was wishy-washy about his feelings and his actions towards her, she wasn't going to let him do the same to their child.

Looking forward she gave an inward groan at watching Lee Ramsey walking towards her. At taking in the sight of him in his long trench coat and sunglasses which he still wore, despite now being inside a building, she couldn't help but think how you can take the man out of the FBI, but you can't take the FBI out of the man.

"Fancy seeing you here, Miss Buchanan. I hope everything his ok with yourself."

"I'm fine," she glared and then decided to bait him a bit. "Have you figured who helped Alison Perkins escape so she could yet again terrorize my family?"

"No, but rest assured that under my watch they will be caught and punished to the fullest extent of the law."

"That's funny because under my Uncle's watch the perp would have already been apprehended," she smiled coolly at him.

"How is your uncle liking his new job at BE? Has he solved the case of the missing stapler yet?" he asked, and then gave her a creepy grin before walking away, laughing at himself at the joke he'd made.

Natalie's smile changed from a cool one to one of assurance as he strode away. Anyone could tell she'd ruffled his feathers just now much more than he did hers, and she wondered exactly what John had done to make the surveillance tape disappear.

* * *

"I'll give you a minute to change and then we'll do an ultrasound," said the doctor as she gave Natalie a smile before turning the lights down and leaving the room.

She folded her clothes neatly, lying them underneath her purse and then got back onto the exam table, resting her head back and closing her eyes so she could focus. At hearing a soft knock on the door she told the person to come in. It wasn't until she felt someone brush her hair back that she jumped, opening her eyes and seeing John looking over her, "You came," she said, suddenly feeling very emotional.

"Yeah," he said, realizing quickly she thought he had forgotten or didn't care enough to be here beside her when they had the first glimpse of their child. "I was walking across the parking lot and saw Ramsey ahead of me—decided to hide out in the gift shop til he left."

"Lucky you—I got the joy of talking to him. Seems to me ya'll are no closer to closing the Alison Perkins case," she said, giving him a questionable look that told him he better tell the truth.

"Yeah, the person got a lucky break—apparently Baxter took the tape home by accident and recorded over it with the Flyers game," he said, giving a wicked grin at seeing her eyes get huge.

"Really? And what happened to Baxter? Did he get suspended?"

"No, actually he quit," he said, then cut her off from her next comment. "He'd been planning on putting in his notice anyways—him and his cousin are starting up a PI firm in Michigan—it's just all moving faster than he'd expected now."

"Oh—so that's it?"

"For now," shrugged John as there was again a knock on the door and the doctor entered.

"Hi—I'm Dr. Grant—you must be the father-to-be?" she smiled as she held out a hand and shook his.

"Yeah—I was running behind, but I'm here now," he said as he looked back at Natalie, their eyes speaking volumes to each other.

"Well, then let's meet the little one," she said as she placed a small suction-cup looking object on Natalie's stomach and it took just a few seconds before the room was filled with a noise John thought was similar to a stampede of horses. "Everything sounds good—now why don't we get a look at it," she said as she pulled a cart with a monitor on top of it over to the exam table and took a bottle and moving the paper clothing Natalie was wearing, squirted some on her belly.

Natalie jumped at the coldness and instantly John's hand took hers, "I'm fine—it was just colder than I was expecting," she said, enjoying that his hand was in hers. As the screen filled with the image of their child she felt the tears well up in her eyes and she couldn't help it—that was her child, her's and John's—something she was sure would never happen.

"We've got an active one," said the doctor to them, knowing they were concentrating more on the life on the screen that what she said.

John just stared at the screen—watching the small miracle on it moving around, "She's beautiful."

"It's too early to tell if it is a girl—right Dr. Grant?"

"Yes—it won't for a couple more months until we know for sure."

John just smiled, he could feel it that the little one on the screen was a girl, and would be just as beautiful as her mother.

* * *

Vicki stood there in the doorway of the sunroom, watching her daughter as she gazed out the window in quietness--oblivious to anyone or anything else in the room.

She walked further into the room and saw she was holding what looked like a picture between her fingers. She had known something had been different with Natalie the past week and now, without even seeing what was on the paper she knew. Vicki gave a polite cough before coming to the edge of the couch and watched her daughter jump in surprise, "I didn't mean to startle you."

"You didn't--I just was thinking--it seems like I've been doing a lot of that lately," she said as she looked down at the picture and she felt the urge to both laugh and cry at the sight of her unborn child.

"May I see?" asked Vicki as she took the printed paper from Natalie and looked at the small, blurry image on there, "She's beautiful."

Natalie laughed, "He said it was a girl also--the doctor says it's too early to tell."

"I'm guessing he is John," questioned Vicki as she sat down on the couch and took Natalie's hand as she nodded silently. "I didn't know you two had gotten back together."

"We haven't--it was right after Marty died and I found out about Jared being my uncle. We needed someone that night--and somehow found each other."

"You two have a way of always finding each other," said Vicki.

"Yeah," said Natalie with a quick laugh. "He proposed to me the day I told him. Said it was the best thing for all of us."

"Well, he seems to be one to take his obligations in life seriously. I'm sure he was just trying to do what he felt was right. I take it you told him no."

"I had to. It's bad enough that we're bringing a child into this world because we were selfish and couldn't last one night without someone in our arms, but I can't see being married just for the sake of the child."

"You two obviously still care for each other or this wouldn't be such an issue."

"Caring for each other has never really been the issue, but we've been apart for nearly a year now--have seen each other on rare occasions with months of time between each one--how do we become a cohesive unit for the sake of the child when we've wasted so much time already being apart?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey bro-what's up?" asked Michael as he slid into the booth next to the door. John had called and suggested the two meet up for breakfast at the diner which made Michael immediately suspicious.

"I got something to show you," said John as he slid the ultrasound photo across the table. It'd been in his jacket pocket since the afternoon before, and he'd already pulled it out enough that the edges were starting to get a little worn. A grin appeared on his face, which he hid by taking a sip of his coffee, at watching Michael's brown eyes get big.

"Wow. I-uhm," he said, unable to comprehend the fact his brother was going to be a father. His eyes studied the snapshot of new life-figuring out just from size on how far along the mother should be. It was then that his eyes went to the top corner of the paper and landed on the mother's name, "Natalie-but how?"

John rolled his eyes as he finished the coffee off, "Mike-if I need to discuss the birds and the bees with you-."

"Haha. No-I just didn't think-."

"What? That's we're together? No, we're not," he said, adding the word 'yet' to that statement in his head.

Michael smirked, "So an accident has turned you both into parents."

"I wouldn't call it that either. We both needed someone the night it happened and I'm glad we were able to find each other.

"You know last year we went months without seeing each other-since that night I've found every possible reason to see her. She's constantly in my thoughts. And you can give me the medical mumbo jumbo that it's just me being pulled to my unborn child, but I think it's more than that."

Michael threw his hands up in front of him in over exaggeration, "Ok-stop. Who are you and when are the pod people returning with my brother?" But he knew that look-the one his brother only got when Natalie was in his life.

John just smirked, rubbing his finger over the imaginary stain on the table, it was hard enough to say this out loud-he couldn't look Michael in the eye while he said this, "I think it's time I fight for her, Mike. Hell-I've been in Llanview what now-almost four and a half years. And I've loved her every minute since then. I'm not going to let someone else come in and take my family from me."

"Speaking of Natalie and family-have you seen The Sun this morning?"

"No, why?" asked John as he watched Michael get up and go over to one of the cops that was sitting at the counter. Michael took the front page from the cop and then walked back over, folding it so the headline was all that John saw when he took it from him. John's lips pursed at the headline above a picture of Jared, Buch a Banks Afterall.

* * *

"Good Morning, Gigi," smiled Natalie as she walked past her assistant and kept going to her office, ignoring Gigi's calls for her to hold up. She did freeze when she got to the open door and saw Jared standing there, looking over a report of some kind. "What the hell are you doing in my office?" she yelled and heard Gigi's heels click across the floor and behind her.

"I'm so sorry, Natalie-I was trying to warn you."

"Don't apologize, Gigi. Just call Security so we can get rid of this pest and get on with our day."

"You can do that, but I don't think they'll find reason to escort out an employee of BE when he's done nothing wrong," spoke Jared smugly.

"You don't work here, remember Jared? I was with you in my dad's office when he fired you for being a phony-so now leave," she said as she motioned her hand towards the lobby and looked to see Clint walking towards her.

"Hi, sweetheart-I thought I heard you. How was your day off? Get everything done you needed to?" asked Clint as he came up and gave her a hug and kissed the top of her head.

"Yeah, I need to talk to you about that, but first-look who doesn't understand 'You're Fired'."

"I was going to talk to you about that-Jared came to me yesterday and made a good case for getting his job back."

"Are you serious? I mean really, dad-here is a guy that has been lying to our family for months-for all we know he's been stifling funds right under our noses and you welcome him back?"

"I think you are going a little overboard, Natalie. Besides-we will have time to discuss everything this weekend at the cabin."

"The cabin?"

"Yes, I've decided that we need to become a solid force against our opponents and this weekend is the best opportunity."

Natalie just looked at her dad in disbelief-she would gladly do anything for BE, but to allow Jared Banks back into the company was not one of them. She quickly heard the tune of her cell phone start and walked further into the office to take the call, "Hello?"

"Hey-it's me. Everything ok?"

"Yeah, we're fine," she said as she looked towards the two men in her office begin to talk logistics. It took her a second to realize that at hearing John's voice her hand instinctively went to her stomach.

"Good. Hey-I know it's a Friday morning and you are probably slammed with stuff to get done before the weekend, but you think you might have a few minutes to see me? There's some stuff I think we need to discuss," he said as he looked down at the front page.

Natalie sighed, he wanted to talk and here she was stuck going on a weekend pow-wow with her family, "I can't-BE is going to have a meeting up at the Cabin this weekend. I think they are talking about heading out early so we get up there before the snow falls. Maybe Sunday evening?"

"Yeah, I guess it can wait. Drive safe-call me when you get back in town."

"I will," she said softly as she hung up the phone, wondering what it was that John was so eager to talk to her about.

* * *

"I guess we're the first here," said Natalie as she walked into the cabin with Jared behind her. Just walking from the car to the house she could tell the temperature was falling and the threat of being snowed in was quickly becoming a reality.

"Good then maybe we can discuss our options now that everyone knows I'm not related to you," said Jared as he dropped his bag and walked towards her.

"You are joking, right?" she asked with an unsteady laugh. "I mean really—you just let the cat out of the bag a week ago and you are expecting me to forgive you just like that? It doesn't work that way, bud," she said as she walked away from him

"You've forgiven others for worse—eventually you'll forgive me too. You've got a big heart Natalie," he said as she turned around and his hand came up gently to her face. Closing her eyes she could picture John stroking her face like that, and it was his face she pictured as Jared leaned in and kissed her gently. She reciprocated the kiss without a second thought—her mind solely focused on John.

As the kiss ended and she opened her eyes she came back to reality at seeing Jared standing there. It was the movement behind him that caught her eye and she suddenly realized the two of them weren't alone. There, by the door, was John, his hands balled up in fists inside the pockets of his leather jacket. "John, what are you doing here?"

John didn't speak for a moment—wishing he'd listened to himself halfway up the mountain when he'd thought about turning around. "Nevermind," he said, deciding it was better late than never to do so.

"John stop," she said, pushing past Jared and following him to the door.

Hearing her voice made him stop, but when he looked at her, and saw the moistness on her lips he started to get angry again, "Why, Natalie? Why should I stop when you obviously don't need me? You haven't for awhile."

"That's not why I told you to stop—you wanted to talk earlier about something and then you come all the way up here. For what John—just to see that maybe I have moved on from you? I doubt that," she said, knowing the truth of it all. He was the one person she would never move on from.

"Fine—you want to move on with this con, then do it. Just remember that when Cristian and I lied to you it was to save you from years of heartache. What is his excuse? Better yet, how come it took you months to talk to us as friends again and yet you are so ready to jump into bed with him just days after the truth comes out?"

"You know me better than to think I jump into anything quickly—especially the bed of another man."

"Yeah? What about Paul Cramer? Because that's exactly what I see when I look at ex-Uncle Jared here—another sleazy Paul Cramer. Just know that if he hurts you as bad as Paul did I won't be there for you this time, Natalie. I'm over cleaning up your messes," spoke John, his blue eyes burning passionately against Natalie's for a split second before turning and walking out into the snowy mountainside.

Natalie shut her eyes as she listened to John's car start up and head down the mountain. There were fights and then there was that—where they ended up so angry at each other that everything came out, whether it was meant to or not. Her memory flashed back to the last one they had before they broke up—her sitting on the bed after admitting that she'd told Bo the truth about the evidence.

It was always at this moment that she wanted to throw in the towel—walk away from him and his angsty moods and never look back. But now she couldn't—now there would always be something connecting them and they had just months to figure out how to put aside all differences they had towards each other and focus solely on their child.

Jared gave a slight cough, reminding Natalie that someone else had observed their fight. It was actually the first time anyone had done so and she really wasn't sure how to feel about that. "What do think was the real reason he came up here?"

"I don't know—maybe he wanted to make sure me and the baby got up here safely," whispered Natalie, and then realized her mistake. Biting her lip she looked at Jared and just nodded in confirmation before walking closer to the large picture window and placed her fingers softly against the cold window pane.

"I'm sure I'm overstepping my bounds, but can I just bring up my childhood. It sucked—but the best memories I actually have of it were between Charlie leaving and the rest of us becoming human punching bags. You and your child don't need him in your life, Natalie. Not if he's going to treat you both like that."

Natalie turned on her feet quickly, ready to reel into him about even suggesting she keep John from his child. It was then that she realized what he'd just admitted, "You just said your dad's name was Charlie."

"Yeah, so?" he said. He'd hoped she was so upset she hadn't put the pieces together, but by the look on her face he was wrong.

"He's not just any Charlie though, is he? He's the Charlie that my mom is dating. That's why he was so quick to run up and save you from falling off the ledge of the Palace. Why you two always seem to be chatting like you've got years of catching up to do."

"Ok, fine—you figured it out. What do you expect me to do about it?"

Natalie turned her head towards the window to see her dad arriving with Bo behind him, "You're going to call your father and let him know he has this weekend to tell my mom the truth or else when I get off this mountain I will tell her myself," she said as she watched him walk out of the room to make the call, giving herself a just a few seconds to get herself together before trying to throw herself into her work at BE and forget everything else going on in her life.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: My apologies for a boring chapter--but stuff needed to be laid out and air needed to be cleared before we can move onto the good stuff. (And I promise there is good stuff coming!) Ya'll enjoy! Until next time--ya'll are the best--PCGirl.

* * *

Natalie smiled politely at the security guard at the front door and continued onto the elevator—it was Wednesday, which meant her week was halfway over. Things had been tense at work with her and Jared—mainly just on the premise that she didn't think he belonged here, and she was still hurt at the suggestion he'd made that she keep her child from John.

The John situation hadn't changed—and right now she thought it was best they kept their space from each other, not that he'd actually tried to contact her.

As she stepped on the elevator she heard someone call for her to hold it and she watched James Lansing step on.

"Good morning, Mr. Lansing, how is everything going so far?"

"Wonderful—I always admired your grandfather and the type of businessman he was. I wish I could have met him."

"He knew how to run his company," she nodded.

"And his family too."

"Yes, I suppose," she responded, thinking it was an odd statement for him to make.

"Here's a question—if both were in danger which would he save and which would he let fall—his family or BE?" asked the gentleman, a smirk appearing on his face at thinking he'd stumped Natalie.

"Knowing how resourceful my grandfather was I have no doubt that he would be able to do both without breaking a sweat. He knew without family there was no business—that's why he put all of us on the board when he died—he knew it would pull us through the mourning of his passing and would make us stronger both individually and as a company so we could fight off these takeovers and keep the company where it belongs, with his family," spoke Natalie strongly, knowing Asa would be proud of her response.

The rest of the ride was silent until the doors opened to her floor, "And furthermore, Mr. Lansing, if I hear of any other comments on this matter I will assume they are from you and will take them to the board to have you removed on the suspicion of being a threat to BE. Have a good day," she said then walked off, feeling for the first time like she truly belonged here.

"Morning, Natalie," smiled Gigi, she was sitting at her desk and though Jared was just a few short feet away Natalie ignored him while getting her messages from her assistant and then heading to the office.

"Ok, you know at some point you actually have to talk to me, right?" questioned Jared as he followed Natalie into her office and over to the table he was using as an office until his was finished being renovated.

Placing her purse behind her desk she looked at him with an inquisitive look on her face, the comment Mr. Lansing had made had started her juices flowing already and she would enjoy the satisfaction of ripping into Jared, "No, I don't believe I do—do I?"

"Ok, fine—I'll say it—I'm sorry for what I said about McBain, but I won't stand by and let him treat you like that. You deserve to be treated like a princess."

"First off, I'm no princess—second, you don't know anything about John—what he went through growing up or how he—," she stopped at finishing her sentence quietly _acts when he's jealous._ Looking at her watch she knew she had time before he first meeting of the day, "I—I've got somewhere to be—if anything comes up call my cell phone," she said as she picked her purse back up and left.

* * *

Natalie walked into the police station and instantly felt at home. She received smiles and greetings from her old co-workers, promising to stop back by the squad room on her way out, but first she needed to talk to John.

As she rounded the corner she saw Eddie walking towards her and tried to not make eye contact—he'd just started when she'd left last year, but even that small amount of time had made her think little of him, "Hey Natalie—how's it going?"

"Fine, and you?" she said, giving a smile that instantly told him she was just being nice and really didn't want to talk to him.

"Listen, I wanted to talk to you—since you and McBain have been broken up for nearly a year now you want to go out sometime?"

"Sorry, Eddie—I'm not interested in dating jerks."

"You dated McBain, didn't you?" he scoffed at her and kept walking.

Brushing off Eddie's comment she continued her walk down the hallway to John's office. As she turned the corner she saw him walking towards his office from the other side. "Hi."

"Hey," he said, the word coming out very short.

"Are you busy? Can we talk?" she asked as he nodded and walked into his office ahead of her. "Listen—the other day at the cabin—."

"It's my fault—I shouldn't have come up there," he said, never looking up at her, but rather searching for a file on his desk.

"But you did—and I still don't know why, but I know you wouldn't have if you didn't think it was important."

"It doesn't matter now—how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine—now stop avoiding the question, McBain," she said with a smile that relaxed both of them.

John looked at her, he couldn't tell her how he'd been feeling that day, because those feelings had subsided the second he saw her in a lip lock with another man, "I guess I came up there hoping to talk to you about what we're going to do once the baby comes—it could have waited until you came back though, I knew you were at a work meeting."

"Oh," she said, her heart falling that it really didn't mean more than something as simple as that. "I wanted to tell you something John—there is nothing between us and Jared, ok? For the next seven months there is only one person I'm focused on—and that's this baby. I'm not going to do something stupid, John. I would never put a family member in danger—especially my own child—you know me better than to think that."

"I know—I'm sorry if I made it sound like that up at the cabin."

"It's ok."

John gave a chuckle and made his first honest comment to her all day, "I just really don't like Banks—but at least you don't have to worry about having feelings for your uncle now."

"Yeah, thank goodness for small favors," she said with a slight nod and looked back at the door for a moment. "I better get back to BE—I've got a conference call in a bit with Kevin and a new investor to prepare for."

"Yeah, me too—I mean work, it's been crazy here and we still don't have a front desk assistant that was as organized as you were. Ramsey chased off the last one in tears last week," said John with a half laugh.

Natalie shook her head at John's comment, "No wonder they were all so excited to see me in the squad room. I'll see you around, John."

"Yeah, see ya," he said as she left and he began looking through the file he'd been working on earlier. Not even a minute had passed when there was a soft knock on the door and he looked up to see Antonio walk in and close the door behind him. "What's up?"

"I just saw Natalie leaving—everything ok?"

"Didn't know you'd started to care about my personal life—or lack of it."

"She was my sister-in-law, John. Twice. And I heard about the baby—congrats man," he said as he sat down with his coffee and laughed at the look of curiosity on John's face. "Jessica was at Capricorn last night, she told Cris and he told me."

John pursed his lips and gave a nod, "Well, let's keep it on the down low here—especially with Ramsey. Speaking of him—my buddy at the bureau sent me a copy of his personal file—I was thinking I'll bring it to your place along with some Chinese and we can go over it tonight," he said as Antonio gave a nod.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Do not adjust your computer monitors--yes, youa re getting a 2nd chapter in less than a week. Aren't you all special? The must has finally broken through the glass ceiling and is working marvously with me once again. Until next time--ya'll are the best--PCGirl.

* * *

Natalie was sitting on her bed, her laptop in front of her as she finished up reading some late e-mails. She'd already showered, her hair pulled up and off her neck, and had slipped into a deep blue silk pajama set she'd been given for Christmas. She was just finishing saving all the files she had opened and call it a night when she an instant message window popped open. The message was just a simple 'Hello Natalie' and not recognizing the name she was going to close out of it when the next message popped up,

"You look pretty tonight, the color of those pajamas look good on you."

Natalie glanced down at her clothes--maybe it was a coincidence, there was no way they could see her from the safety of her bedroom she thought. But then she remembered another night when she knew someone could, but those circumstances were different and she didn't have the cold chill of goosebumps that night as she did now.

Keeping her eye on the computer screen she reached back and grabbed her cell phone, sliding it into her lap and engaging the speaker phone before hitting the speed dial for John's phone. Hopefully she could get a hold of him before the sicko she was talking to hung up the phone.

* * *

"I mean there really isn't anything here, John--I'm not sure what we can get Ramsey on," spoke Talia as she stood next to him going over part of Ramsey's personal FBI file.

"These are doctored, I know it. The guy is anything but a model agent," said John as he felt his phone buzz and he looked to see who it was. Any other time he'd have ignored it, not that it was Natalie, but that he was in the middle of something he truly didn't want to drag her into, but it was late and he wanted to talk to her. "Hey--what's going on?"

"This is going to sound really silly, but you remember that night you were at that stakeout," she said as another message popped up on her computer screen.

John put his head down to keep Talia and Antonio from seeing him grinning, "Yeah--what's going on?" It took him a second to register the tone of her voice and then the grin was gone and he had turned back towards his coworkers.

"I was closing down my computer and I got a message--I'm sitting on my bed and they can tell what I'm wearing. And unless my room is bugged with a video camera there's only one way I know they can see me," said Natalie as she finally looked towards the window. She heard the ding of another message and the person asked who she was talking to. "They know I'm on the phone now, John."

"Sit tight--Antonio and I are going up to the stakeout location--Talia will meet you at the kitchen door. Do not open it for anyone else, understood?"

"Yeah, I understand," she said as the final message popped up on her screen.

'You can call McBain all you want--he won't catch me."

Reading those words the chill washed over her again, "John, be careful up there."

"I will," he said as he ended the call and the three headed out the door.

* * *

"I wonder what's taking them so long?" asked Natalie as she took another sip of the hot liquid that Talia had made up for her in lieu of coffee--she said her sister made it all the time when she was pregnant with her kids, and it was 100 safe for the baby.

"I'm sure they'll be here soon," spoke Talia and almost immediately there was a knock on the kitchen door window. "See," said Talia as she had Natalie step back and opened the door.

"Where's John?" asked Natalie nervously as they both watched just Antonio walk in.

"He left--said he had something he needed to take care of. Do you want us to stay and keep you company?"

"No, I'm going to check the doors again and go to bed--thanks for checking everything out--did you find anything up there?"

"No, but that doesn't mean we won't see something again in the morning when we can do a thorough sweep. You sure you are ok?" asked Antonio at seeing the look on Natalie's face.

"I'm fine--Talia's got my laptop to see if they can trace the IP address."

"I'll get it back to you as soon as possible."

"Thanks, and thanks for the drink recipe again," smiled Natalie as she led the two out the door and locked it behind her. She leaned against the door--both angry and hurt that John had ran off to do something else instead of making sure she was going to be ok tonight. Setting the half empty cup in the sink she turned off the kitchen light and headed upstairs to try and attempt to sleep.

* * *

John banged on the door with his fist til he was sure it would start bleeding. He didn't care how late it was or what neighbors he woke up--he was going to set it straight right now with Ramsey if it killed him. "Ramsey--open up now or I'll blow the damn lock off the door," he shouted while continuing to bang on the door.

When Ramsey opened the door John's instincts kicked in and he shoved the man backwards until he hit the wall, John's forearm against the other mains Adam's apple, "I'm going to tell you this just one time--if you or your little brown-noser Eddie go near Natalie again I will kill you so quickly you won't remember how you ended up in hell."

"Lieutenant McBain, I suggest you let go of me now, unless you want IA to be all over you in the morning," choked out Lee Ramsey as he fought to release John's hold on him, but it was John who finally let go and watched as Ramsey leaned over to catch his breath. "Now please explain to me why you are not only assaulting an officer, but your Superior at that."

"Don't play coy with me. You sent Eddie up on that mountainside--I don't know how you knew that location looked into her bedroom window, but you did," said John and then laughed, "I never saw you as a peeping tom, Lee."

"I'm not--and whatever games you and that red head are playing I can ensure you that I have nothing to do with them."

"Like hell you don't--just stay away from her," spoke John as he turned and walked out.

Lee shut the door behind John and saw her standing on the stairway, "Sorry about that--let's go to bed."

"That sounded like John--was it?"

"Yeah, but he's gone now--he won't be back tonight," spoke Ramsey as he walked to the stairway and gave the woman a kiss on the forehead before taking her hand and leading her upstairs to their bedroom.


	7. Chapter 7

Natalie looked at the number showing on her caller id puzzledly--after last night she'd been uneasy to answer any number or take any calls at work unless she knew exactly who it was. The number had an AC area code so she figured it safe, "Natalie Buchanan." Her questionable tone vanished as she heard the voice on the other end and a smile appeared on her face. "Hi--awww, thank you. You know I'm really nervous about everything, but I think it's going to be just fine. Yes--I wish it was those circumstances also, but it really is for the best," she said as she heard a tap on the door and saw John peer his head in, she waved him in and watched him begin to study the desk Jared had left in a rush before going to a meeting.

"No, he didn't, but he did just walk in. I'll get the address and send them to you--you take care too," smiled Natalie as she hung up her phone and responded before John could even ask the question. "It was your mom and she wanted to congratulate me and make sure you remember to give me her address."

John shook his head, "I just got off the phone with her twenty minutes ago--told her I was already on the way over here. I wanted to talk to you about last night."

Natalie's eyes went from the excited blue that John had watched them be while she spoke with his mother to a steely blue he'd become accustomed to seeing, "Yeah, Antonio already told me last night when he came by to get Talia. Thanks for checking up on that for me."

"Sure--no problem," said John as he watched her go back to work. As he reached the door instead of walking out of it he closed and locked it. "What's going on here?"

Natalie had stopped what she was doing at the sound of the door locking, she was now standing behind her desk with a look of anger on her face, "I'm working--now please leave."

"No--I won't. You've obviously got something to say about how I handled things last night and I think it's best for both yours and the baby's health to tell me."

Natalie's anger from the night before came quickly to a head as she rushed around her desk and got directly in his face, "You want to know why I'm upset about last night? You never came and checked up on me--you went up on that hillside with Antonio, looked around, and then left. The John McBain I knew would have come back down to Llanfair--he would have told me to lock my doors and not leave the house, but most of all he would have stayed at the house with me--hell, he probably would have slept in front of my doorway. What happened to that John? Because he was the one I want our child to know--not this stranger that seems to always be focused on something else."

John mentally cursed himself for the way things had gone last night, "Ok, you are right--I'm sorry. But when I left the hillside I was still focused on you--I have strong suspicion that Ramsey sent Eddie up there to spy on you."

"Why would he do that? He barely knows me."

"To get under my skin--he wants me to crack so he has a chance to fire me again. And he almost did last night when I had him against the wall and my forearm against his neck at the Penthouse. Promise me you'll stay away from him and Eddie both," asked John as he brushed hair out of her face. He stood there for a moment before leaning in and letting his lips gently touch hers. He didn't hesitate to deepen the kiss and felt a sense of joy when she reciprocated it. The only thought going through John's mind as his hands took her waist was how he wanted to take a few steps backwards, knock every paper off of Banks desk and take Natalie right there, not just for his own pleasure and wants, but also to royally piss Jared off.

He controlled the urge and pulled out of the kiss, moving his face to her ear he whispered, his voice still husky from the image he'd just conjured up, "And for the record--I did come back to Llanfair, your mom let me in and I sat outside your door until morning, I just left before you woke up."

"John," she said, her voice was soft while her heart filled with a love she thought had mostly diminished. "What? What do we do from here?"

"I'm not sure--but I think I'm going to like it whatever it is," he said as his signature smirk appeared while he placed a hand on her neck and began outline the edge of her jaw with his thumb. His cell phone began to suddenly ring and his head hung down to see who the call was "It's Antonio."

"Go ahead--take it," said Natalie as she broke the connection they were in. Listening to John's part of the call she knew he better get to the station, "You need to go?"

"Yeah, but maybe tonight we can meet at Rodi's for dinner--a couple burgers and maybe shoot some pool?"

"While I still can move around a pool table? Sure, I'd like that."

"I'll pick you up at seven," he said as he gave her a kiss on the forehead and was out of her office before she could say another word.

She stood there for the longest time just staring at the empty door that he'd left slightly ajar. It wasn't until Gigi poked her head in the door that she realized she'd been somewhere else, "You need me for something?"

"No, I was just checking on you," smiled Gigi and quickly went back to her desk, leaving Natalie knowing full well she was grinning like an idiot.

* * *

Natalie stared at herself into the hall mirror, messing with her hair one more time before finally letting the curl fall where it wanted to. Brushing her hands over the dark blue dress she realized how she'd began to show more and wondered if she should change before John got there. It was his favorite dress, but she almost felt like she was getting too big for it in the top.

"Oh Natalie--look at you," smiled Viki as she came down the stairway to see her daughter standing there.

"Do you think it's ok?" she asked, and then laughed. "I don't know why I'm making such a big deal out of this--we're just going for burgers and play a few games of pool."

"Maybe because he's picking you up? Because you two have been separated almost a year and you still have a connection," said Viki as she came behind her daughter, placing her hands lovingly on Natalie's shoulders before speaking. "You look beautiful. Pregnancy brings out more of a radiant glow than you already have. Enjoy yourself tonight," she said as she kissed Natalie on the cheek and then disappeared off towards the kitchen just as the doorbell rang.

* * *

John decided he'd study the Rodi's floor for a moment while she took the shot, it had to be better than the staring at her he'd been doing all night. He'd always loved the dress she had on, but her wearing it tonight was definitely against the law. _I could always arrest her and take her back to the hotel room_, he thought and then gave a slight chuckle.

"What's so funny McBain? Or are you conceding that I've won?"

"Never," he said as he began to study the pool table. As he lined up his shot he glanced over at her, "Did I mention you look pretty tonight?"

"A few times," she said as the butterflies danced in her stomach like they always did at the very simple comment he gave her. Most women would want their significant other to say it more often, but she liked how when he did say it he always had this boyish tone to his voice. _What are you thinking, Natalie? You two aren't even together._

As he watched her leaning down to take the shot he was reminded of a dream he once had that involved that same dress,

_That's cheating -- she can't touch!_

_She's right, those are the rules. Why don't you just -- _

"Did I ever tell you I had a dream with us playing pool with our kids?" he said absently and watched as she stopped lining up her shot and turned to him. "It was during the wreck--or after--I'm not sure. But we were in here with our kids, a boy and a girl--of course she had your hair," he said as he gently moved a piece of hers out of her face. "They were playing, and we were helping," he chuckled. "Of course in the dream the boy was older, but I'm ok with him being the younger one too."

When he'd began talking the breath escaped Natalie's lungs, but as he finished and was just staring at her to say something she was somehow able to find it again, "You realize you just made it sound like this baby is going to have a sibling, right?"

John chuckled, "So what if I did? We work Natalie--look at what we've done tonight--a normal date and normal everyday discussion."

"I don't think anyone would call us normal, John. And it wasn't the normal stuff that was the problem--or maybe it was," she said as she walked over and started putting her pool cue up.

"Hey, wait a second--," he said as he rushed over and had her look at him. "I want this Natalie--I want us, and I know we can make it work, trust me, ok?"

"Trust was one of our issues when we ended it John. Also, we tend to rush into things--I don't want to rush into something when there is now a child involved."

"Understood. We'll take it slow, ok? It's getting late so I'll take you home and maybe call you tomorrow?"

Natalie looked into John's eyes and she knew there was no way she could argue with him--not when she could see he genuinely wanted them to work, "Ok. I like that."

"Good," he smiled as he gave her a soft kiss before taking her hand and they walked out of the bar together


	8. Chapter 8

Natalie greeted Gigi with a smile and continued into her office, the past few weeks had been wonderful—work was going great, and John, well—he was actually making her believe they could make everything work.

Walking to her desk she looked back at Jared who was finishing off a box he had been filling up, "They already finished your office? That was faster than they thought."

"Nope, I've just got to get out of this room," said Jared as he walked out of the office carrying a box.

When he returned Natalie put down the messages from yesterday, "Oh, I'm sorry—is my pregnancy bothering you? It's not contagious or anything."

Jared laughed, "It's funny you bring up the pregnancy. You told me before that you were putting the baby first, but from where I'm standing you are putting McBain first."

Natalie took a second to answer the ridiculous question, "Well, he is the father of my child. Would you rather me be getting closer to a mass murderer?"

Jared clenched his fists before he said something he would regret, "That's not what I mean. You are a capable woman that can have anything she wants in life—why go back to someone who has brought you nothing but heartache and tears?

"He's going to hurt you again, Natalie—you just don't want to see it," he said as he finished off the last box and left the office.

--

Jessica picked a grape off of her sister's plate and popped it into her mouth, "You know—I'm thinking of becoming a stripper—just until the vineyard takes off."

"That's nice," said Natalie as she kept picking at her salad.

"Did you even hear what I said?" laughed Jessica at the look her sister gave her. "Ok—spill it—what's up? You've been in the best mood I've seen you in a year lately, and now—well, it's like you are trying to decide whether to break up with John first again."

"I'm just wondering if we're going too fast—I mean we really haven't even talked about everything that caused us to breakup in the first place."

"Then bring it up—are you seeing him tonight?"

"Yeah, we're supposed to meet up later. I guess I can bring it up," she said as she thought some more. "This all started when Jared gave me his opinion of John."

"And you are listening to Jared why?"

Natalie laughed, "I really don't know why—it was just he had some good points, that's all."

"The guy screwed up by pretending to be Uncle Jared and now he's jealous because you are beginning to move away from him even more. He'll get over it, and if he doesn't maybe he'll just disappear. Wouldn't that be nice?" she joked.

"Oh yeah," laughed Natalie as the conversation changed topics for the better.

--

John whistled softly as he walked towards his office. It was close to end of shift and if one thing of the past few weeks had made him realize was that with the birth of his child in the not so distant future he was no longer one to burn the midnight oil, but instead get back home to his family.

As he reached his desk he heard Ramsey's footsteps coming into his office and at turning to see the man carrying a large stack of files he honestly thought about telling the man exactly where he could stick those.

"Hope you have a good stock of coffee ready—it's going to be a long night, John," sneered the man as he dropped them on John's desk, almost knocking over the picture of the two brothers.

"I'd love to, but not tonight, Ramsey. I'm sure there's a lackey or two out there that'll do the dirty work, but not me."

"The mayor is breathing down my neck because of how many open cases we have. Besides you and your redheaded friend have been spending way too much time together as of late," laughed Ramsey as he walked out of the room and his laugh continued to echo down the hall.

John sighed and pulled his cell phone out, pressing the speed dial and waiting for Natalie to answer.

"Hey—you about to leave the station?" smiled Natalie as she put her hand on the top of her laptop to close it if he said yes.

"I wish, but Ramsey's being an ass. Looks like I'll be spending some time here tonight."

"Really? Well, I can bring you something—maybe pick up a pizza?"

"That sounds good. I'll call you when I'm sure he's left the building."

"Ok, I'll just work til then," she smiled and hung up the phone. She was only working a few short minutes before there was a knock on the door and she watched Bo stick his head in the door. "Hey."

"Hey sweetie. I was just checking to see if you were still here."

"Yeah, I was meeting up with John, but he has to work late."

"You two have been spending a lot of time together lately," smiled Bo as he walked further into the room and closed the door most of the way behind him.

"Yeah, we have—and it's been great, I'm just worried, that's all."

"About being hurt by John again?" he asked. If it had been any other family member he would have stayed out of it, but he knew his niece and he knew John and what both meant to the other.

"More so the baby than myself. I can get over it—I'm almost used to it at this point," she laughed. "But a child—I look at Todd and Blair, and how over the years it's been on and off and on and—."

"Yeah, I get it," laughed Bo.

"I don't want that to be us. I don't want our child to go through what Starr and Jack have gone through."

"Well, I'm pretty sure I'd never compare John to Todd, even on John's worst day," he smiled again. "But just like Todd is with his kids, I'm sure John's going to love this baby and do anything for it. And just like with Todd and Blair—I'm pretty sure John's never going to get over you—even if you weren't the mother of his child," he finished by putting his hands on her shoulders and looking at her. "You are going to be a wonderful mother—I can't wait to hold this little new one."

"Me either," she said as he pulled her into a hug.

"Don't work too late, ok?"

"I won't," she smiled as she walked Bo out of the office, closing her door, and getting back to work until she heard John's call.

--

All John could think about was how much a load of crap this all was. Half of the files Ramsey had brought him were closed files. He had noted a few the evidence numbers were missing so he figured he could at least fill those in before calling it a night.

The squad room was silent as he walked through it and down the stairs to the evidence room. Taking note of the numbers he didn't hear someone being quiet as they came down the stairs once he was in the room.

When the door was pulled shut he dropped the papers and evidence bag he'd been holding, grabbing the knob and trying to turn it, knowing already it was futile to open it—and cursing under his breath that he had left his cell phone up on his desk.

--

Natalie rubbed her eyes, noting the time. She was caught up as much as she could be, and thought maybe she'd just go and pick up a pizza without John's call. If Ramsey made a comment towards her being there she was a four and a half month pregnant woman—she could take him.

As she closed her laptop up her office phone ringing startled her. She was puzzled at seeing Jared's extension calling her—she'd been sure he'd left hours ago, still not talking to her after the conversation this morning, "You ready to be nice now?" she asked as she picked up the phone, but heard nothing other than someone breathing. "Ok, Jared—this isn't funny. I'm going to hang up now," she said as she clicked the phone off and grabbed her purse, jumping and spilling the contents of it as her cell phone began ringing. "Damn it Natalie—get a hold of yourself," she muttered as she saw the incoming call was from Jared. "Hello?"

"Hey—it's me. Listen do you have a minute to talk."

"Yeah, sure," she said as she left the spilled contents back behind her desk and walked to her office door, locking it quickly.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I want you happy, and if that's with John then fine, but if he hurts you let him know I'm coming after him."

"Yeah, sure—thanks. Hey—you still at work?"

"No, why—are you?"

"Me? No," she laughed as she began fiddling with the necklace she was wearing. "I'll see you tomorrow—ok?"

"Ok," he said as he ended the call.

Natalie stood there for a moment trying to decide what to do. Did she call Mike down in security and have him come up and check out Jared's office? Did she call John and have him come up to her office and escort her home? Opting for the later choice she his speed dial and listened to the phone ring until voicemail picked up, "Hey—it's me. Listen, call my cell when you get this. It's nothing urgent, I just need to tell you about something that just happened," she said as she sat down on the couch and waited for John to call her back.


	9. Chapter 9

It was the sound of the door opening that woke John up. He didn't know when he'd fallen asleep sitting against the wall of the evidence room--sometime after 3 when he'd finally given up banging on the door and shouting for help. The skeleton crew that worked nights had no reason to come down here--and he still wondered who shut the door in the first place.

Looking up he saw Antonio walk in and a half-smirk appeared on his face, "Did you sleep down here all night, man?"

"Yeah, someone decided it'd be a fun prank to pull on me," said John as he took Antonio's arm that he offered and pulled himself to his feet. "How'd you know I was down here?"

"I think I've been over the entire rest of the station--saw the files on your desk and noticed some missing evidence numbers so I took a guess."

"Yeah, Ramsey had me working on bogus stuff late last night."

"Must have been his parting gift to you," said Antonio and then noticed the look on John's face, "His resignation was on the Mayor's desk this morning. Said that he was being called back to the FBI on something that was more important than our rinky-dink police department that can't figure out a case if our life depended on it."

John just shook his head, "Good riddance. I'm going to go home and try and catch some sleep--I never thought I'd find something more uncomfortable than the bed at the hotel, but I guess I'm wrong."

"Ok. I'll call you if anything comes up," said Antonio as both men walked out of the evidence room and shut the door behind them.

Bo stood outside Natalie's office door and dialed the number, it took it a minute before he answered--when he hadn't reached John at his desk he'd called Antonio and the man had told him what happened the night before and that John had gone back to get some more sleep, "John--sorry to wake you."

"Hadn't quite gotten there yet. So can I officially call you 'Boss' again?" laughed John as he got out of the bed, giving up on sleep.

"The mayor hasn't called me yet," he laughed. "Listen--have you heard from Natalie?"

"Got a message from her last night that she wanted to talk to me about something, but she didn't answer--figured she was in the shower or in a meeting already at BE," he said and finally realized Bo was leaving something out. "What's going on Bo?"

"I'm not sure--her office was locked this morning, and while her purse and her car are both here,she's nowhere in the building," he said, hearing the connection end just as he finished those words.

* * *

Had Natalie not worked on the 9th floor John actually would have taken the stairs, he was seriously beginning to hate elevators, fear enveloping him with each ding of a floor passing between him and the ground below. Walking off the elevator he took in who all was standing there waiting on him--Bo, Clint, Gigi, and Jared. Ignoring the looks of the other three he walked straight to Bo, "Talk to me, Bo. What've we got?"

"Gigi here says when she got here Natalie's car was not here--but when Jared arrived her car was here and she had dropped her keys in the parking lot. He let himself into her office to put the keys on her desk and found this," he said as he walked into the office and they saw her purse was spilled behind her desk. "And then there's this," he said as he picked up the video tape that was sitting on her desk.

Handing John a pair of gloves he handed over a video tape that he'd been holding with gloved hands already, "I already dusted it--no prints. You want to watch?"

The fear that had been growing on the elevator caused the hair on the back of his neck to rise, remembering the last time a mystery tape was sent to him and Bo was when he watched his fiance Caitlyn die again before his eyes. He wanted to make some joke to lighten the mood--like ask if anyone had any popcorn, but he couldn't bring himself to say it, "Where's the vcr?"

He followed Bo down the hallway to the board room and grabbed the back of the leather chair as Bo put the tape in and pressed play. Her face came up on the screen and he felt his fingers dig into the chair. She was behind her desk looking very professional with her hands crossed as if she were about to make an important speech concerning BE--the only difference was that normally she didn't have a gun pointed directly at her head.

She gave a polite cough and looked down a moment before she began to speak, "My name is Natalie Buchanan. For my safe return my kidnappers want majority share of BE. They will contact you later with further details." And with that the tape returned to static.

* * *

Natalie sat on the cot and thin blanket they'd given her for a bed, she hadn't slept—the chain of events from the night before still rolling through her head. Knowing she needed to get some sleep she closed her eyes to try and rest—the thin lumpy mattress wasn't making it easy though and at hearing the rustling of the covers in the bed across the small room she gave up on sleep for now.

She had questions for this person—she'd almost completed the forensics program when Bo had her drop out of it—but that didn't mean she didn't know for this person to be alive wasn't anything short of a miracle.

Sitting up on the edge of the bed she watched as her roommate, for lack of a better term, woke up and she watched as the female realized who was now in the room with her, "Natalie?"

"Hello, Marty."


	10. Chapter 10

"You know--we probably shouldn't even be acting as the lead investigators in all of this," said Bo as he walked up to John who was standing in the doorway of Natalie's office watching the forensics team do their job.

"You know of anyone that should be? Everyone in the department was close to her, Bo--heck, there's two guys in her office right now that went through the program with her," he said, not taking his eyes off the work being done. He'd been in that office with her a few days ago--stopped by Rodi's to pick up lunch for the two of them and they'd just sat in each others company. Everyday he was with her it seemed like they were getting closer to what they had before the accident--and now she was gone.

"Lieutenant," said one of the team members as he walked towards John and handed over Natalie's cell phone. "It was pushed between the cushions--that's probably why they didn't take it."

"They left her purse here too--this wasn't a roberry," he said as he walked away and scrolled through the last few calls. "Well look at this--right before she called me she had a short chat with Banks. Let's see what he can tell us," said John as him and Bo went to find a quiet office to start interrogations in.

* * *

"Natalie--what are you doing here?" asked Marty as she began to sit up and the room started to spin.

"I could ask you the same question--couldn't I? The last I heard you'd died in a van explosion."

"I don't remember much--Ramsey said he pulled me out of the van at the last moment--I just wish," she said as she paused to choke back a sigh. "I wish he would have saved Cole and John also."

"He told you they died?" asked Natalie.

"Yeah, he said he pulled me out of the van first--and John went into get Cole, but he didn't get out before the van exploded," she said as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Ramsey lied--neither of them died," she said, leaving out the part about how Cole was driving her Uncle Todd to insanity with getting Starr pregnant. "But they both think you did."

Marty smiled, "I'm glad to hear they are alive--I hated the thought of outliving my son. So how did you get here anyways?"

* * *

"I was hoping you would ask for my help--I'm worried about Natalie," said Jared as he sat behind a table in an empty office with John right in front of him and Bo standing in the back staying silent.

"I'm sure you are. So tell me, Banks--what did you say to her to make her call me immediately afterwards?" asked John as he slid Natalie's phone over to Jared and he saw his name on her call log, just before John's.

Jared paused before shaking his head, "All I did was apologize for something I said earlier in the day. I was a jerk to her and I felt she needed to know I was sorry."

"What did you say to her?" asked Bo, finally speaking up.

"Told her John was going to break her heart again--that she could have anything she wants in life and it seems like all she wants is you. I was jealous of what I saw everytime you two were in a room together. I screwed up the chance to have that with her and it pissed me off, ok?"

"Anything from the conversation on her end that seemed strange?"

"Not really--I asked her if she was still at work and she laughed--you know the nervous one she gets when she isn't telling the complete truth," he said as both men nodded. "Said she wasn't and she'd see me today. I don't get why she didn't tell me she was here--though I guess it wouldn't have made much of a difference, would it?"

"It could have, but who knows now," said John as he took back over the interrogation. "Anyone see you right around the time that call was made?"

"What beside the companion I bought for the night?" he said, anger in his voice that McBain could even think him a suspect. "No--there was no one--I went to my hotel room, alone, and stayed there until I got up this morning--came to work, and found Natalie's keys in the parking lot. If I'd thought of checking to see if the engine was still warm then I would have. Neither of us like each other, McBain, so let's put that aside and find what's important to both of us--Natalie."

* * *

John stared at the frozen television screen in front of him--he'd finally left the BE offices while Antonio and Talia began questioning other employees, and he was now sitting in Bo's office with the screen in front of him looking at the smart woman he loved. What he couldn't wrap his finger around was that while she needed him he was locked in an evidence room that was pulled shut by a second party. He hit play again on the video, this time without sound as his eyes connected to Natalie's and he saw it--once, twice, three times she quickly moved her eyes from the camera to the muzzle of the gun. Pausing it he got closer to the screen and studied the gun--he couldn't see all of it, but it looked police issue.

As John stared at it he looked up to see Eddie walking past the window and some pieces began to fall in place.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Sorry for the delay--the muse and I hit a stumbling block but we're back on track now. Ya'll enjoy! Until next time--ya'll are the best--PCGirl.

* * *

John watched as Eddie walked through the squad room--nobody spoke to him, he'd pretty much cut himself off from the rest of th

John watched as Eddie walked through the squad room--nobody spoke to him, he'd pretty much cut himself off from the rest of the force when he became Ramsey's eyes and ears when he wasn't around. He stood up though as Eddie didn't turn and walk past Bo's other office door.

Seeing that he went into the locker room he followed the man in there, nodding to another officer as he walked out. John opened his locker, just a few ones down from where Eddie was now standing, "We must have some pretty big rats around here."

"How you figure that?" he asked, not even looking over at John.

"Well, something must have closed the evidence room door while I was in it last night."

"Yeah, I heard about that," chuckled Eddie.

"What did Ramsey promise you, Eddie? Promise to get you a cushy job at the FBI? I hate to tell you this--but my buddies at the FBI already informed me he wasn't called back. They haven't heard from him in months."

"What are you saying, McBain? You think I had something to do with your precious red head going missing?"

John slammed his locker shut causing Eddie to jump as he looked to see John directly in his face, "I said nothing about Natalie's disappearance being connected to Ramsey's sudden leaving--but you sure seem to know something."

"That's what you're trying to get at, right? That I had something to do with your whore going missing."

John slammed Eddie against his locker, cutting off his air circulation, "Say that again and it'll be your last breath."

"You know it's true—she's probably slept with half the force, they are just too scared of you to brag about it," he grinned as John began pushing harder against his throat. "You even sure the kids yours?"

"You really want to die today?" said John through gritted teeth. "I've nearly killed a man before for kidnapping Natalie—I have no problem going all the way this time."

"Don't worry, McBain—she's not my type," he said as he looked over at the door opening and Bo walking in.

"John," said Bo as he rushed over to where John was and pulled him off of the other man. "What the hell are you doing, Lieutenant? I get my job back and five minutes later I find you nearly killing a fellow officer," he said as he looked over to see Eddie bowed over trying to breathe.

"I have suspicion this is the reason I was locked in an evidence room all night," said John as he pointed at Eddie and he looked up at the other two men.

"I want—I want to press charges of assault," he gasped.

"What for? I didn't see anything—you are going to get your breath back and walk calmly out of this room and into Interview 4, that's an order Officer."

* * *

"He blindfolded me and I remember driving for awhile--I tried to count the time, but couldn't. When we got out of the car I tried to listen to sounds around me—cars, music, birds, but there was nothing. He walked me in here still blindfolded—I didn't go up any steps so we're on the first floor still," said Natalie as she finished the story of her being taken hostage the night before.

"You willingly allowed yourself to be taken? Why?"

Natalie put her hand protectively on her stomach, "Because I felt like fighting him wouldn't be safe for me--or my baby."

Natalie watched as Marty's eyes went wide before she began speaking, "Congratulations to you and--Jared, is it?"

She had a quick moment to decide on telling the truth or let the other woman believe what she wanted to, "Actually, it's John's."

"Really? You're pretty far along for it to be his," she sniped out.

Natalie's first thought was to deck the woman for that comment, but she would let it slide--for now, "I'm not going to fight with you Marty--you can believe what you want. I didn't plan on having John's child--I thought that opportunity was in the past, but apparently there are people above that see differently. We have to live in this room for who knows how long until someone rescues us, so I think it's best if we just end the discussion on my pregnancy now."

* * *

"Ok, we can do this one of two ways--you either sing to me like a canary or I'll let IA get a whiff of this and they'll be all over you faster and harder than John was in the locker room before I broke you two up," said Bo as he watched Eddie continue to sit uncomfortably in a chair.

"I'll talk, but not with him here," he said, keeping his eyes locked on John's.

Bo turned and looked at the man he trusted and knew it would be easier if John wasn't in the room, "Let's go outside."

John walked out of the room, his arms crossed at his chest, and ready to argue with his newly reinstated boss, "Bo, I'm not leaving."

"You've been awake way too long today, John. If I hadn't gotten back from the Mayor's office when I had you would have beat the crap out of a fellow police officer."

"He deserved it."

"Perhaps, but let him dig his own grave. Go home--get some rest--Antonio should be back with all the evidence soon and once that's all sorted out we'll know where to go next."

"Don't go soft on him, Bo."

"I won't," he said as he walked back into the room and shut the door behind him. "I've heard you were pretty friendly with the new commissioner while I was gone. He treat you right?"

"Yeah, and he got more done than you ever did. I don't know why you think I had something to do with McBain's woman going missing."

Bo sat on the edge of the table, "Let me remind you that _his woman_ is my niece, and she is well loved by every officer out there. If you had even the slightest thing to do with Natalie being taken last night it will get out--maybe not by me, but it will get out--I can't promise to stop the next person who decides to use a locker to bash your face in. So I suggest you start telling me everything you know."

* * *

Natalie laid on her side facing away from Marty--she was so tired, but a part of her was scared to sleep--her defenses were down if she did. But then, if she didn't get any sleep it would be bad for herself and the baby.

As she closed her eyes and tried to tune out the sound of Marty's breathing across the small space she allowed herself to feel the fluttering in her stomach--and a smile came across her face as she realized it was the first feelings of the baby. Focused on the baby she was soon asleep.

* * *

It had taken John long enough to fall asleep—he'd finally forced himself to lie there, and now, as he stepped off the elevator onto the 9th floor of BE, he knew he was dreaming. He began walking to Natalie's office—but it was the shouting down the hall that caught his attention.

As he reached the office he thought was Clint's he saw a different man in the chair and soon realized—this wasn't a dream but a full fledged nightmare, "Mr Buchanan?"

"Hey boy—glad you could finally make it," smiled Asa as he told the person on the phone he'd have to call them back. "Have a seat—you are a tough man to get in touch with."

John looked at the other man strangely, "I'm sorry. Did you want to talk to me about something?"

"Darn tootin' I do. I want to talk about that granddaughter of mine and what you're going to do about her."

"I'm still looking for her—I just, I just had to take a break so my mind will be clear. Don't worry sir—I won't sleep again until I find her."

Asa breathed deeply, "I'm not talking about that—I know you'll find her. What I want to talk about is what you're going to do after she's back. I know Natalie—she's feisty, and she'll fight you tooth and nail on stuff—don't let her."

"I normally don't," he said, a slight smile appearing on his face.

"Good. She reminds me a lot of her Grandma Renee," he said as a misty look came to his eyes. "I wasted too many years without her in my life—don't let the same thing happen to you and Natalie."

"I won't," he said as he watched Asa go back for the phone—showing that this conversation was over. "Can I say one more thing? I think Natalie's doing a great job at BE—you'd be proud of her."

"I am. I just wish her dad would be hiring some better people lately—there's one I definitely don't trust and wouldn't allow him to walk within a mile of BE."

* * *

Natalie walked up to the ranch house and stared at the door, "Why am I dreaming of this?" she said quietly as she pushed the door open and looked to see the doors into the living area were wide open and there was Asa standing there waiting for her, "Grandpa," she said as she ran to him and gave him a big hug.

"There's my filly—I've missed you," he said as he pulled her back and but kept his hands on her shoulders.

"I've missed you too—you weren't around long enough to show me all the ropes of BE—what it means to be a Buchanan business woman," she smiled brightly.

"You're doing fine—don't you worry your pretty little head about that," he said as he walked over and sat down on the couch. "Now let's talk about what's going on outside of work."

Natalie laughed as she sat down on a chair across from Asa, "Which part? The part where I went along with what a kidnapper wanted and allowed myself to be taken hostage or the part where I got knocked up and when the guy proposed to me I laughed in his face."

Asa just looked at Natalie with that crooked smile of his, "You keep underestimating yourself—whatever this guy throws at you—whatever happens, you are one half Buchanan and one half Lord—that makes for a hell of a combo. You're going to come out of this thing just fine—mark my words.

"And as for my new great-grandchild that's coming in this world—you don't have to worry one second about John running from your bed to that blasted Marty Saybrooke's—he loves you and I don't see him going anywhere anytime soon."

Natalie just smiled at his words, "I know. Guess it helped hearing it from someone else—you know when you died Kevin, Joey, and Jess sat around with me and talked about growing up with you. I didn't get enough time with you, Grandpa."

"I know," he said as he leaned over and covered her hand with his. "Well, I'm going to go find a horse around here to ride—you'll be fine," he said, giving Natalie a wink before walking out the french doors that led to the stables.

Natalie woke with a smile on her face, as she rolled over and her eyes adjusted to the dark the smile stopped and her brow crinkled, because the spot where Marty Saybrooke slept shortly before was now empty—bed and all.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Ok, so I'm not 100 percent happy with this chapter, but I feel this is the best it's going to get. Ya'll enjoy! Until next time--PCGirl.

* * *

John stared at the white board covered in arrows connecting one part of Natalie's disappearance to another, but they didn't tell him what he wanted to know--where was she?

"Still waiting for it to talk to you?" asked Antonio as he walked up and joined his friend, handing him a cup of coffee he'd just picked up.

"This part is what we definitely know--Eddie was told by Ramsey to spy on Natalie in her bedroom that night and he was also told to delay my leaving the station the night Natalie went missing."

"It still creeps me out that he knew you could see into Natalie's room--did you know that?" asked Antonio as he took a sip of his own cup and then grinned at the silence John gave him in response. "Any word on his whereabouts yet?"

"Nothing. I've got friends with the Bureau that are keeping an ear out, but as far as they know he's not been welcomed back with open arms and probably won't be."

"They'd be smart if they didn't," he said as he began looking at the information they knew from the interviews at BE. "Ok, so Natalie talks to Jared and then calls you. Forensics showed it looked like her office door was picked by a professional--which means while she was waiting for you she'd locked herself in rather than trying to get outside and to her car."

"Probably means someone was already in the building and she somehow knew it. Inside job?"

"Would explain a few things Mike the security guard told us. He's the head of security, has worked for BE for years--Asa had handpicked this guy and had given him the standing rule of staying until every person was out of the building--the entire security force knew to never try and force a Buchanan to leave. The hours could run late sometimes so normally whoever was supposed to close up would slip out around 8:30, locking the front door behind them, and grab a quick bite to eat. Someone would know that whoever it was on the clock that night would be leaving at this time--."

John dropped the empty coffee cup in the trash and walked closer to the board, "And when the security guard comes back Natalie's car is gone and the front door has been unlocked so he assumes she's left for the night, doesn't think anything else about it, locks up, and goes home."

"The next morning--sometime between Gigi and Jared arriving her car is driven back to BE where the keys are dropped in the parking lot."

"That has to be on purpose--they knew once the tape they'd left the night before was found and watched there was no way to get the keys back into her office. So again the question is how to connect our inside person on this side to Ramsey on the other side," he said as he grabbed the marker and placed a question mark in the center of the board.

"We don't have enough for a search warrant, John."

"I know," he said as he put the marker back and took a few steps back. "You know what--I've got an idea--give me thirty minutes and meet me at the penthouse."

"John--," spoke Antonio, wary about doing anything at this moment without following the proper steps.

"Either be there or don't--but I will be," he said as he walked out of the room quickly.

* * *

With his hands stuffed in his pockets Antonio took a look around while John pulled out a key and opened Penthouse 4. "Do I even want to know where you got that from?" he asked as John opened the door with his gloved hands.

"Probably not," he said, taking just long enough to stop chewing on the piece of gum he had in his mouth to give his co-worker a smile.

"What happens when we get caught John? You aren't going to find Natalie behind bars for breaking and entering."

"Did you come here to help or to harp? Go find Talia and you two go to a movie or something. I doubt there's anything in here to lead him to Natalie anyway," said John as he opened the door and went in--Antonio following behind him.

* * *

Natalie leaned against the door trying to listen to the conversation outside--she'd heard a car approach the building and then a second. She'd been planning on a way of attack when she'd heard Ramsey's voice, full of shock, ask the second person what they were doing there.

"I'm here because I'm tired of this, Lee. I love you, but I can't stand the running anymore--I've given up my whole life and hid in secrecy for years because you say it's not safe. And now you drag me to some town where there's actually a possibility I can be spotted and caught--why?"

"It's not going to happen--we're going to be gone shortly. Just go back to the hotel, ok? I'll be there soon."

"I've got to go back to the penthouse--I forgot some items."

"It's not safe, John might see you."

"That's your way of keeping me from doing anything--isn't it? Is there anyone actually out there after me?"

"Would I lie to you? I saved you, remember? Just go home--soon we'll be able to leave and start our lives over anew--I promise."

Natalie bit her lip at trying to guess who he was talking to--it was someone from both Ramsey's and John's past. She walked away from the door and into the middle of the room as he unlocked the door, "Sounds like you're having woman problems, Ramsey. She's getting antsy--might blow this whole thing up and go to John."

"She won't," he said as he began to set up a tripod and place a video camera on top. Handing a paper to Natalie he aimed his gun at her, "Start talking--and don't make any gestures. Wouldn't want to harm McBain's baby, would we?" he asked and pressed record.

* * *

"Not a damn thing," growled John as he dropped a small stack of papers he'd flipped through back in the desk in the bedroom.

"You said it first--we probably wouldn't find anything," said Antonio as he paused before pulling something out of a drawer he'd just opened. "But I'm pretty sure this isn't Ramsey's," he said as he pulled out a black negligee with one finger before dropped it back in and closing the drawer

John just shook his head, "I knew it was a long shot, but I figured maybe he wasn't that smart."

"He's fooled the FBI for years--it's just going to take time. Let's call it a night, get a couple drinks, and we'll look over the data again," he said as they walked down the curved stairway. "Who knows--maybe the alcohol will do us both some good," he laughed, trying to lighten the mood with is friend.

Both were trying so hard to get their mind off the case that they didn't pay attention to the woman standing with her back to them in front of one of the other doors as if to knock. Once the elevator doors closed she stared at them, "What were you doing here John?"


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Sorry for the delay in chapters--life got in the way for a bit. Hope ya'll like the chapter, I'm not 100 in love with it, but I want to get something out there for ya'll to read. On a personal request--say prayers for me starting tomorrow. I'm going out of town and am nervous about the whole thing. Anyways, ya'll enjoy! Until next time--ya'll are the best--PCGirl.

* * *

It was John's name being called that jolted him awake. Looking up from the small couch in his office that he'd been sleeping on he saw Bo standing there in the doorway, "Hey boss—sorry, just dozed off for a moment. What time is it?" he asked as he rubbed his face to try and wake up.

"8:30—you know we have beds in the locker room to sleep on," spoke Bo as he watched John stretch his legs before standing up.

"I know—I just wasn't planning on sleeping long—figure I got about five so I'm good."

"You need more than that if you are going to keep going—running yourself ragged "

John just nodded—he wouldn't go into detail with Bo about how him and Jared Banks had helped close up Rodi's last night—the conversation had started out with them each arguing the other was to blame for Natalie's disappearance, but after a long period of silence they'd both decided neither was worthy enough for her, but it wouldn't stop them for finding her and fighting for her safety at all cost.

"What's on the agenda today?" asked Bo before telling him about the tape on the doorstep that Nigel found this morning. The one that he had watched a few times already that showed Natalie being held again at gun point as she listed off the demands of her captors.

"I want to go over the list of employees at this BE location and compare it to the ones we already interviewed the first day. One of them is connected to this—it's the only explanation, Bo."

Bo nodded, "I'll get you a list—first you need to see something."

* * *

"This list is going to take forever," said Talia as she sat with John and Antonio in the conference room so they could spread everything out.

"Well, we can probably eliminate females."

"That doesn't help much. Asa didn't believe in equal employment when it came to men and women, did he?" she asked as Antonio let out a laugh.

John stopped looking at the list at the comment and remembered something from the dream he'd had weeks ago,

_I just wish her dad would be hiring some better people lately—there's one I definitely don't trust and wouldn't allow him to walk within a mile of BE._

"Only look at men hired after Asa's death."

"Where'd that come from?" asked Talia as a glance went between her and Antonio.

"It's just a hunch," he said as he went through his part of the list and stopped on a name. "Ok—James Lansing—did we interview him the day she went missing?"

"I don't remember that name," spoke Antonio.

"Me either."

"Let's go pay him a visit, then," said John who froze at seeing Bo standing in the doorway.

"Good thought, but apparently he hasn't been to work since Natalie's disappearance."

"And nobody realized this until now?"

"You can't blame Clint for being focused on bigger things than international acquisitions."

John wiped his face in frustration and thought about the next possible step. "Ok—so what are his credentials? He's worked at multiple corporations since graduating from Wharton School of Business—."

"Wait—what school?" interrupted Talia as she started searching through notes.

"Wharton."

"That's where Ramsey graduated," she said as she brought her notes to John and they realized the two men had graduated together.

"Well, there's our proof that there was someone on the inside. Now where did they take Natalie?" he asked as he looked to see Antonio studying something on the computer. "What do you have?"

"Lansing bought a hunting cabin about an hour and a half drive north of here—five months ago. Now why would you purchase a cabin in this area months before you were hired on at BE?"

John looked over at Bo, "I think that's a good question—we should ask Mr. Lansing that, right Bo?"

"Right," he said as the group started going for the door—stopped by Jared Banks standing there.

"What's going on? Did you find Natalie?"

"Not now, Banks," said John as he attempted to shove past him. When it didn't work he let out a sigh, "Fine—follow us, but stay out of the way until it's clear."

* * *

It was the sound of a car that startled Natalie out of the light sleep she'd been in—it was late afternoon and this was when she allowed herself to relax into sleep—when she didn't have to worry about Ramsey showing up with food or putting a gun in her face and making her do another damn tape.

She couldn't hear the car anymore and wondered if she'd been dreaming—but then came the muffled voices. Was this it? Had Ramsey hired someone to dispose of her so she disappeared just like he was doing with Marty?

She looked around—wondering if there was some way she could leave a note to John, just in case he ever found this place he'd known she'd been here and not to give up on her and their child.

But then she heard someone at the door and knew it was too late. She braced herself into the corner of her small room as the door was kicked in. The dust that was kicked up caused her to cough while the sun shining into the room for the first time in a month caused her to shield her eyes.

As her eyes focused she saw him standing there—her white knight once again, "John," she coughed out.

"Natalie," he said as he took the few steps to where she was and took her in his arms, instinctually kissing the top of her head.

"Clear!" shouted Antonio from outside and then came in the building also.

"He's not here," she said as she wiped away the beginning tears away. "He's staying at a hotel nearby—not sure how far away, but he comes here every evening to bring me food."

"I'll take a couple officers to help do a search," he offered, allowing the other two to have some privacy.

* * *

Natalie stood to the side quietly as the Crime Scene Unit did their job—John had talked to her about what had happened while she was here, but she hadn't told him everything.

She wasn't sure how to bring up the part about Marty being alive, in this room when she'd arrived.

Or that her bed was set up right where John was standing with Bo now. Maybe some lose hairs were on the floor and CSU would find them and do a DNA test. When the tests came back she could act stunned, but as her hand went to her stomach she realized she couldn't do that.

As much as she disliked the woman she had a child back in Llanview—a child that believed he was an orphan, and she knew no child should be without at least one parent.

When it all came down to it would her child have one or both parents?

Natalie knew what she needed to do, but she almost wished she could wait just one night. Just let herself sleep in her regular bed one night before she allowed her life to get turned around once again. She jumped at feeling a hand beside her, relaxing some when she realized it was just Jared.

"You feeling ok? Do we need to take you to the doctor for tests?" he asked, worried about the tiredness in her eyes.

Natalie shook her head politely, "No, I'm fine. He didn't drug me--I don't know why, but he didn't. I just really want to go home and sleep in my own bed tonight. Take me home, Jared."

A smirk appeared on her face, "That I can do." he said as he put an arm around Natalie and led her to his car.

The first part of the drive was silent except for the radio, though neither were really listening or caring about the music just now. Finally Jared made the decision to speak up first, "You know--he still loves you."

Natalie's head shot to look at him, at first she thought to just ignore his statement, but she was curious as to how he came to that conclusion so she figured she'd dig for a minute, "What makes you think that?"

"When we realized you were missing--he was seriously worried. If anything had happened to you, Sparky--."

She interrupted him quickly, "Stop right there, Jared. First--do not call me Sparky, I'm just not up for it tonight. Second, you have to know one thing about John--it's his gift in life to be the white knight, saving the damsels from the evil dragon. I am nothing but a damsel--got it?"

"Ok, so maybe he has a white knight complex, but--"

"Correction--he does," sighed Natalie as she stared out the window, resting her eyes and soon falling asleep while Jared finished the drive back to Llanview in silence.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: This chapter probably has one of my favorite scenes in it that I've written for this story yet. Ya'll enjoy! Not sure when the next chapter will be--I'm not promising anything for a couple weeks at least, the chapter isn't past planning and my weekends are booked for a couple weeks. Until next time--ya'll are the best--PCGirl.

* * *

Natalie was surprised when she got off the elevator that there was no guard standing outside the penthouse. She was even more surprised that the key she'd slipped off her mom's key chain still fit the lock—didn't people know they were supposed to change the locks when they moved in?

But then Lee Ramsey seemed to be one that could keep his secrets hidden in plain sight. As she opened the door she noticed that the CSU team hadn't been here yet—and she wondered what trouble they could be having with the search warrant.

She wondered more though why she was here in the first place—to find some sort of closure as to why he kidnapped her in the first place? To find Marty locked up in some room so she could get to her before he got word to a goon to move her to a new location? Or maybe it was to find some sort of clue as to who his mystery woman was.

At hearing a sound on the stairs she looked up to see the third question answered—though she'd been almost positive before, it was the only answer that made sense.

"Hello, Caitlyn. It's nice to finally meet you."

"How did you know my name? Who are you?" she asked as she slowly made her way down the steps.

"Through a mutual friend—John McBain. When he thought you died he put you on a pedestal, one that was nearly impossible for me or anyone else to tip over," she said, thinking of all the time she waited for him to finally move on from Caitlyn, only then to have to fight for him against the living with Evangeline.

"You know nothing about what happened to us."

"I know you were shot by an intruder—an intruder that later turned out to be a serial killer he'd been trying to lure out into the open. When Ramsey rescued you was it your idea or his to let John think you were dead?"

"He was keeping me safe from the person that tried to kill John and I."

"Fine—whatever you say," said Natalie as she walked around the room, her arms folded at her chest. "Do you know how he was after you died? He went through the motions, no happiness, no relationships beyond work ones. How he wouldn't allow anything physical beyond a romp in the sack because he was worried for their safety? Does that mean anything to you?"

"I'm sorry that happened to him."

"But not sorry enough to tell him the truth."

"He'll understand—he'll forgive me."

Natalie laughed loud at that comment, "The man you knew and the father of my child are two different people—yours died when you decided to love another man more than him. A man who is now sitting in a jail cell and will be there for a very long time."

* * *

John didn't know why Natalie had come here, but seeing her car in the parking lot had confirmed what the GPS tracker in her car had said, she'd come to Ramsey's penthouse for something and he was curious as to what it was.

He hadn't been surprised that Natalie had been asleep the night before when he'd finally made it back to Llanview and tried to see her, but he was this morning when he'd gone by Llanfair to see her and her mom had said she'd left shortly before he arrived, saying she had an errand to run. It was then he was glad he'd never taken out the GPS tracker he'd installed years ago.

John could hear Natalie's voice when he stepped off the elevator—it was elevated and she was letting someone know her exact opinion of them. He heard his name being mentioned also, but as to who the other person in the room was he couldn't make it out. The voice was soft and muffled behind the closed door. He thought for a moment about drawing his weapon, but something told him it wasn't necessary—with the way Natalie was talking he was sure the other person wasn't armed.

As he reached the door he realized it wasn't closed all the way so he quietly pushed it open with his foot and stepped into the foyer of the penthouse. Natalie had her back to him and he couldn't quiet see the other person so he stepped all the way into the room, his voice getting caught in his throat at the sight of Caitlyn.

"John," she said softly, their eyes connecting and he felt his heart starting to race.

Natalie turned and looked at him—she knew he'd figure out where she was, but had been hoping she'd find him first—give him some notice before he came face to face with his past, "I—I wasn't sure who it was, but I knew Ramsey had a female living here with him—she visited him one night."

"I went by Llanfair—we need to talk about last night," said John to Natalie, though his eyes were still focused on Caitlyn standing there looking back at him.

"I told you and Bo everything that I knew. I'm not sure what else there is to tell, John," she said as she began to walk behind him. "You know what—I'm just going to let you two catch up—if I do remember anything else though I'll give you a call."

At hearing the tone in her voice he broke out of his trance and turned to look at her—she was hurt again and he was to blame, "Don't go—ok? Will you just wait out in the hallway, it won't take long," he said, but she didn't say anything just kept walking out of it. John kept his eye on the door until it was shut—he'd already chased after Natalie once today, he knew she wouldn't wait in the hallway like he said, so when this was done he'd chase after her again.

He turned back and took the sight of Caitlyn in—she looked exactly the same, her hair was short and she had on a simple sweater, jeans, and Sketcher's on, what he always thought of as her uniform on the weekends. There was so much he had to say to her, and he honestly had no clue where to start. Years ago—before Natalie—he'd have taken her in his arms and thanked God he'd been wrong, that she hadn't died. But now—now with having come so close to losing Natalie, he was at a loss of what to say. "Did you even know Kathryn had died?" he asked, his voice harsh—harsher than even he'd expected it to be.

Caitlyn nodded, taken off guard slightly by John's voice—he'd changed, she saw that the second he walked in the door, and she knew she was a major part of that, "Lee told me. We were at the cemetary when they laid her to rest—I saw you there."

"You didn't feel it was in your sister's interest—better yet your parent's interest—to show yourself then? Help them at least think they'd only lost one of their children and not both?" he asked again, an anger he wasn't ready for bubbling up to the surface.

"Lee said it wasn't safe—that the man that tried to kill me was still on the loose."

"The man was already dead at that point and he knew it. Anyways—I could have protected you too, Caitlyn. You know that was part of what I was promising to you, our families, and God—to protect you. But I guess you didn't care—did you even really love me or was it always Ramsey you really wanted?"

"Don't say that—you know how I felt for you," she said, walking closer to him.

"How can I know for sure now? I mourned you for five years, Cait. Five years I let myself mourn you—believe that I couldn't protect you from a home invasion. Then I learn that it wasn't a home invasion, but a sociopath that I taunted. And now you are here—alive this whole time and not caring what I, or your family believed."

"Lee said you wouldn't understand—that you would be selfish about all of this when it finally came out," she said, a pout forming on her face as she crossed her arms and John thought she looked like a bratty child at the moment.

A roar of laughter came out of his mouth, "No, sweetheart—I'm not being selfish. What I am is angry at myself—angry that I've wasted almost a decade of my life mourning someone that was never dead.

"I almost died—did you know that? I finally found peace with my father's death, found the true woman I was supposed to be with, and then I nearly died that same exact night in a horrible crash. And what did I do when she realized I was alive? I pushed her away—caused her to be someone else that neither of us recognized or could stand to be around.

"Whatever we had between us before—it died the night you got shot and then decided to stay with Ramsey—I'm just sorry I never knew it until now," he said as he took one last look at Caitlyn before walking out the door—ignoring her pleas for him to stay, for them to talk.

He wouldn't waste anymore time on her—he'd done enough of it already—he had to go find the other woman he'd wasted too much time pushing away, hoping that he hadn't screwed it up the night before and it wasn't too late to make things right for them.

* * *

Natalie walked into Foxy Roxy's and plopped herself down in the chair, not saying anything when she heard Roxy holler from the back storage room. She wasn't sure why she'd come here—she could have just as easily gone back and locked herself in Llanfair. At hearing Roxy's heels click across the floor she looked up and gave a half smile, "Hey Rox."

"Hey dollface—why the long face?" asked Roxy as she sat down next to Natalie and very motherly put her arm around the girl she'd raised. That was all it took for Natalie's hormones to get the best of her and she started to cry.

Natalie pulled out of Roxy's hold and covered her face, "I've lost him, Roxy."

"Him who? Is something wrong with the baby? Did that whack job do something to hurt my grandchild?" asked Roxy as she jumped up and got in front of Natalie's seat.

"No, she's fine," said with a half-laugh, finally admitting what John said before that she was carrying their daughter. "Marty Saybrooke is alive—I saw her the first day I was taken hostage, and just now I just left John with a very much alive Caitlyn Fitzgerald. I can't win for losing today."

"Ok, so the guy has two chicks from his past come back from the dead—so what?"

"It's hard enough to compete with dead demons, how are we supposed to compete with live ones?" asked Natalie as she looked up at Roxy.

"Don't you get it—there aren't any demons now—there's just you and his child. You aren't competing against anyone else—you'll see, Johnny Mac knows where his heart is, and baby it's been with you for awhile."

"You're probably right when it comes to Caitlyn—but what about Marty? The only reason this baby was even conceived was because he needed comfort over Marty's death."

"That grandbaby of mine was conceived because you two are meant to be together."

"I haven't told him she's alive yet—but I know him—he'll leave to go find her."

"But he'll come back to you—he always does."

* * *

John walked quickly through Angel Square—his first instinct was she'd gone back to Llanfair, but he then figured that was wrong. She'd left out of the Penthouse and not waited like he'd asked her to. He didn't know why she ran—or why the night before she found comfort in Jared's arms and had him take her home instead of John.

Watching her walk out of Foxy Roxy's his instinct that she'd gone there was right and he jogged towards her, "Natalie." At hearing his voice she seemed to walk faster and he picked up his pace until he was just feet away from her, "Hey—stop."

Natalie turned and she knew immediately that the signs of her crying spat with Roxy were still evident, "I've got to get to BE, John. There's a lot of stuff that needs to be taken care of, and I—I just have to go."

John looked at her—the thought that the reason she was running from him was that Ramsey had touched her and his blood began to boil at the thought, "Did he touch you?"

"What? Ramsey? No—not once, he wasn't interested in me for that," she said as she shook her head.

"Why are you running from me? We were getting back to something, Natalie—what changed while he had you in that room?"

Natalie hadn't wanted to tell him like this, hadn't wanted to see her dreams shattered on the sidewalk, "Marty."

John shook his head in confusion, "Marty? What does she have to do with this?"

"She's alive—she was in the room the first day with me until I went to sleep that night—when I woke up her and the bed she was sleeping in were gone. I have no clue where he took her—but I know you, you'll find her," she said. "I'm not making you chose John—I mean we were only reconnecting because of the baby, and the baby never would have happened if she hadn't 'died' in the first place."

John watched her turn and walk away—his feet frozen by the words she'd just told him—it was more than Marty just being alive that stunned him—it was Natalie's brutal honesty that she believed he only wanted her because of their child. As he began to race after her he heard screeching tires and then crushing metal that caused him to stop and turn his head. When he looked back to where Natalie had been he finally saw the BE Towncar that had been waiting for her up the street. She was already in it and pulling away from the curb—and as she passed him he knew what he'd been fighting for to have with her before was now amplified as to what he would have to prove to her now.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Please do not adjust your computer monitors. This is not a figment of your imaginiation--this is actually an update from me. WOO HOO! I apologize profusely at the delay of this story.

Apparently, the muse was living in the new house (we closed on it a month ago) and this is the product of it. Again--HUGE THANKS to Ice for reading this and calming my fears last night. I hope you all like it and I promise not to make you wait another 9 months for the next chapter.

Until next time--you all are truly the best--PCGirl

* * *

"Fine, just tell her I called," said John, exasperated at the situation that'd been going on for two weeks.

"I will," spoke Gigi.

John hung the receiver up and sighed--he should have followed his first instinct a month ago and gone straight to BE when she told him Marty was alive. But instead he'd decided to give her some time to cool down. He'd gone back to the station and wrapped things up--Antonio had even tried to escort him out of the place all together, telling him he'd take care of the rest of the case and the search for Marty. But like the idiot he was, he'd declined the offer--thought he might have some old contacts that could find Marty faster than Antonio. And he had--but it'd taken him two weeks to find her and reunite her with her son.

And now, for the past two weeks he'd been trying to connect back with Natalie, but kept having the proverbial door slammed in his face at whatever he tried--whether it was catching her in person at BE or over the phone and talking to Gigi he was told she was busy. The same went for going by Llanfair, though Mrs. Davidson seemed to be breaking some lately.

He was still unsure as to whether it was Natalie's request when Banks had shown up at his office door a few days ago--but he hadn't taken the threat he'd given him seriously--instead was ready to push further to get her to listen to him.

Glancing over to his computer screen he saw the icon in the bottom corner and double clicked it--she might ignore his presence once again, but she'd finally hear, or rather see, what he had to say.

"Gigi's getting really tired of taking my messages," he typed and clicked save. Even with no response he continued on, "Unless you walked out in the past minute I know you are reading this. How's our little girl? Roxy says she's a kicker."

When there was still nothing he took a deep breath--he wished he could see her face as he laid his heart out on the line, "It's not just the baby I want in my life, Natalie. It's you too.

"When you said Marty was alive I was shocked--mainly because I never felt she was. Not like with you--if I'd gotten to that pit too late I would have known. Just like you knew after the accident about me--despite what others told you, you could still feel me calling for you."

He took a deep breath, "Let me in Natalie--nothing else makes sense."

As he stared at the blank screen for a few minutes he wondered if she was even reading this--and then a smile appeared on his face as a single word popped up.

_OK._

* * *

Natalie walked into Rodi's and paused in the doorway--the place was empty and she instinctively looked over towards the pool table and saw John leaning against the jukebox. As she walked towards him she felt de ja vu at the situation, remembering before when he'd booked Rodi's so they could have a serious conversation without being interrupted.

"Hey," she smiled as she reached him, placing her hand into his as he pulled her against him and his mouth found hers. A moan escaped through her parted lips and at looking up she had to blink away tears in order to see him clearly. "I missed that."

"Me too," he said as brushed a hand over her hair. He felt a slight kick and couldn't help but smile. "I missed you too--you probably don't know my voice, but I'm your daddy." As if in response the baby kicked again and both laughed.

"She does," said Natalie softly and John saw her eyes get suddenly serious. "So what's next John? Where do we go from here?"

John walked over to the wall and took a pool cue down, "You've given me time to think, Buchanan--and I think we should go back to a step that we missed in our whole relationship."

"I hope you aren't talking marriage--John,"

He cut her off, "I'm not--I'll tell you right now I will marry you. Soon. But first I want to date."

"You want to go on a date? What's this?" she asked, motioning to the pool table.

"This is the start--but I want more than just one. I want to sweep you off your feet--you deserve it, Natalie. So what do you think? Maybe?"

Looking into John's blue eyes she knew the truth—that this was where she wanted to be. If not just for now, but for always.

* * *

Natalie hummed to herself and she finished up her work for the day. John and her had been going through their "dating" phase for a month now—most of them being simple things like him picking up lunch for the both of them and eating in the park together.

When he'd left her a couple hours ago it felt different. Maybe she was expecting something that once again was not there, but she'd felt a nervousness from him when they'd kissed goodbye.

At the tap on her door she looked over to see Jared standing there and smiled a polite, yet business-like, smile. "Hi, Jared. Is there something I can do for you?" she asked, once again having a feeling that she'd have to tell this man to back off when it came to her and John.

"I saw you come back from lunch today—I just want to tell you to be careful."

Natalie couldn't help but let a slight laugh out of her mouth before responding "Of what? John?"

"He seems dangerous at times—I don't want you or the baby to be hurt," he said as he reached out to touch her stomach, but his intentions were swatted away by the slap of her hand.

"Thank you for your concern, but you don't know John the way I do. There are more times than I care to admit that I've opened my eyes from the dark and it's been John there to rescue me."

"Two months ago you told me that that's what he does—play the role of a white knight. What changed Natalie? What made you decide you want to be his damsel in the distress all the time?"

Natalie picked up a stack of files to keep her hands busy, "I was being stupid that night—I should have known John loved me—and he wasn't rescuing me just because I needed rescuing or that I was carrying his child.

"Instead I let my insecurities get the best of me and saw him running off to be with his one true love, Marty. The truth is—I'm his true love. One day you'll meet someone, Jared, who will make you feel that way and understand," she said as she walked past him and went to take the files to Gigi before leaving for the day.

* * *

John walked up to the doors of the Buchanan Mansion and never felt so nervous in his life--he'd knocked on doors before that destroyed families and broke hearts, but this simple act seemed so much larger than that.

As the door was answered he greeted Nigel, "Uhm--I'm here to see Clint. Is he in?"

"Yes--this was, Lieutenant McBain. Is there anything I can get for you?" he asked and John just shook his head no--his hands digging deep into his pockets.

Alone he looked around--while Llanfair had the lightness of practical royalty, this place had the harshness of a hard earned dollar--it was truly Asa and he wondered how Natalie had somehow easily slipped into the middle of the two worlds. What would she have been if she'd been raised by Clint and Vicki all along? Would she have been more Buchanan--or more Lord? As for his child--he wanted her to be just like her mother, strong minded and caring.

He heard footsteps coming down the stairs and straightened his back, ready to ask Clint for his daughter's hand in marriage. Taking a deep breath, he let part of it escape into a small gasp when he was it was Marty coming into the room instead of Clint, "Hey

"Hi" she smiled, "Were you waiting for me?"

"No--I'm sorry. I wanted to talk to Clint about something."

"Ahh. That's what I figured--you wouldn't want to speak to me about anything," she said as she walked past him and went towards the bar.

John took a quizzical look at her before speaking, "I'm sorry--did I do something wrong?"

Turning around, with the glass of sherry in her hand, he saw her eyes were hard, "Why did you search for me John?"

He laughed, he couldn't help it, but the question was completely absurd, "Oh--I'm sorry--did you want me to just forget about you and let you stay prisoner to a man that was already locked up and had no interest what-so-ever in telling us where you were?"

"But you could have sent Antonio to look for me--or anyone else. But instead it was you that rescued me--then we get back here and I've had to spend the past two months watching you fall back into love with Natalie."

John wasn't going to let her guilt him into saying something he didn't mean, something that could come back to haunt him later, so he just nodded, "You are right--it should have been someone else. And I'm sorry I never realized you were still alive out there--I saw that van blow up and assumed you were still in it. When no DNA came back we all thought it was because you were completely incinerated.

"As for falling back into love with Natalie--."

"And that's another thing," She said, cutting him off mid-sentence. "You think I'm dead and what do you do--you jumped right into the sack with her. I've done the math, John--it wasn't more than a few days after my 'death' that she became pregnant. And now here you are--doing the chivalrous thing to do and marrying her."

He let out a long sigh, walking around the room so the sofa was between the two of them, "I'm not explaining myself to you--I'm not required to by anyone, even you Marty. But you are wrong--the reason I want to marry Natalie has nothing to do with doing what is right--it has to do that I've loved this woman for years and nothing has ever stopped that. Not near-death experiences, not year long breaks, not keeping secrets from each other. I've wasted so much time loving her, but been too cowardly to say it--I want to do more than just say it to her every night, I want to show everyone that she is the one I love, the only one I will ever love.

"I'm sorry you are hurting--sorry for making you think whatever it is you think we were getting into before. But it was nothing--never could be anything compared to what Natalie and I share. It goes beyond the bond of a mother and father, it's the bond of soul mates."

At the end of his diatribe John saw that Marty was staring at the door and saw Clint standing there, and he wondered just how much the man had heard, "John."

"Mr. Buchanan," he said as he walked over and shook his hand. The two glanced as Marty walked into another room and gave them privacy. "I came here to tell you I'm planning on marrying Natalie. It's--."

"Stop, John. You've hurt my daughter in the past--and I know now that it won't just be her you hurt if something happens in the future, but my grandchild also. Before I would have been reluctant, but what you just said to Marty--that shows me that you've recognized your wrongs and are tired of playing the chasing game between the two of you. Welcome to the family, John," he said as he shook John's hand again. "Just remember--you hurt either of them and the entire Buchanan clan will be on your doorstep."

John sighed, a bit of it being relief and a bit being the fear Clint had just put in him, "I know. Thank you sir. I was wondering if you could help me with one thing," said John as he began to help Clint with his plan.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: My apologies for taking a year to finish this story. I don't really have an excuse, but hope you all will read this still and love it. Laura-to answer your two questions 1) Yes, I guess I do like knocking her up, and apparently finally so do TPTB. 2) The muse left it, but she was finishing this up when I checked my e-mail the other day to see SEVENTEEN reviews from you. Good lord, darling. Again, sorry for the delay. Until next time-ya'll truly are the best-PCGirl

* * *

John paced the floor in the lodge-what if this didn't work? What if she came up here, but still thought the same thing from before? That child or not this wasn't the answer?

It didn't matter what she said-he'd still fight for her. Still show her that they belonged together-it wasn't just a child he wanted with her, but a family too. A family that included them growing old together.

He stopped questioning himself and took one last look as he heard a car pull up and looked out to see it was her. He didn't move to the door though, just stood there as she walked in and had a look of shock on her face.

"John-what are you doing here? I thought-."

"What? Your dad was having a Buchanan pow-wow up here?" he said with a slight smirk at how easy it had been for her to get here.

Natalie laughed a bit, "You set this up, but why?"

"Hold on," he said as he left her in the middle of the room and returned a few minutes later with two bowls of macaroni and cheese.

She laughed hard as she put down her purse and sat on the edge of the couch, "You still haven't answered my question," she said as she finished her first bite.

The nerves he'd had before suddenly came back, "Do you remember when I found you up here that first time?"

"Yeah," she said nodding slowly as a lump formed in her throat.

"You said how could Cris leave you like he did?," he said as he leaned forward and set aside both of their bowls. He watched as her eyes swam with tears and he suddenly felt a little easier on her answer. "I never want you to feel that way again, Natalie. Never want you to feel alone-not on a holiday or any other day," he said as he reached in the cushion of his chair and pulled out the black box he'd put there earlier. "Natalie Buchanan-will you be my wife?"

Natalie tried to blink back the tears so she could see his face, when she realized how useless that was she finally answered him in a choked sob, "Yes. I'll be yours forever."

John couldn't help but smile as he took the ring out of the box and slipped it on her finger before pulling her into a hug.

* * *

_A few months later_

John walked back into the hospital room from setting his plan in motion and saw the most beautiful sight ever. When he'd left just a few minutes ago Natalie was sitting up nursing their newborn daughter, Sara Grace, and now both were asleep. He walked over and brushed Natalie's hair out of her face before running a finger over Sara's cheek. He watched as his daughter seemed to relax at his touch and he wondered how he could pick her up and not break her.

"She won't break, John," said Natalie sleepily as she read his thoughts.

He had to smile at her for knowing him so well, and he gently scooped up their daughter and held her close, proud that he remembered to support her neck as he walked over to the rocking chair to sit down. Looking at her sleeping he realized this would be the first time of how many times he'd get to do this-that this little angel in his arms was a product of their love and it was her that helped him realize that all he'd ever wanted or needed was in this room.

* * *

Natalie was surprised when John pulled up to Llanfair-her and Sara had just been given a clean bill of health and released and she figured he wanted to continue to be the protective father and get them both home. "John, I know everyone wants to see her, but I'd really just like for the three of us to go home and spend our first night together alone. Mom won't mind if she doesn't see her newest granddaughter again until morning."

John smiled at her comments, normally he would agree with her, but there was something he had in mind before they went home, "She might not mind, but she'll be hurt-just an hour, Natalie. And then we can leave-I'm sure by that point Sara will be getting fussy and we'll have the perfect excuse."

"But," started Natalie, but John cut her off by pressing his finger against her lips until he saw a smile on her face, "All I'm asking for is one hour. Ok?," he said as he took his finger off her lips and moved his hand to the small of her back while the other hand carried the car seat with Sara sleeping inside.

As Natalie walked in something smelled off-her mother loved flowers, but it smelled of a tremendous amount of roses and-was that freesia? The doors to the sitting room were closed and she didn't realize John had stopped and was now holding their daughter against his chest tightly.

He couldn't help but smile as Natalie opened the doors to see the chairs lined up, making a walkway towards an altar. She swooped around and looked at him, "What is this?"

"What do you think? Hurry upstairs-we've only got an hour and you need to get into your dress. We'll be waiting," he said as he kissed her on the cheek and walked into the room.

Natalie stood there watching him-listening to him cooing to their daughter and then looked upstairs-taking the steps slowly until she reached her room and saw her sister in the dress she'd picked out for a bridesmaid dress before Sara was born. The thought of marrying John had gone out of her thoughts the past few days as they settled into the roles of parenthood.

"You knew all along, didn't you?" she asked, a smile on her face as she took one glance back to the hallway and then closed the door.

Jessica just smiled, "It was actually John's idea. He wanted you to have his last name as soon as possible."

Natalie's eyes began to fill with tears and she shook them off-her hormones were still off balance, but hopefully she could get through the next hour without becoming too much of a sopping mess.

* * *

When the Justice of the Peace said they were saying vows they'd written themselves John was sure Natalie was trying not to gape at him, and he just laughed as he began, "Before you I had given up on love, figured it wasn't for me. And so I put my life into work, not letting outside influences change my mind on what was right or wrong. But you-you showed me what it means to care for someone and do whatever you have to in order to keep them safe and in your life.

"I want to apologize for being a jerk-for pushing you away because I was scared to let my heart feel anything. And thank you for not listening to me-not listening when I tried to shove you away. It's my fault it has taken us this long to get to this point. But that changes today-today I promise to be there for you through whatever life brings us. To love you and not let a day go by and not show you. I love you, Natalie."

Natalie could barely make him out through the tears, "Wow. When you finally speak you let it all out. I'm-I'm not sure what to say.

"I felt something when we first met-and I immediately wanted to fight it. Wanted to believe I'd already found my happily ever after. But in reality you are it-and I know it might not always be 'happily', but it will be ever after. And I'm not scared anymore or fighting this because I know it's right-I know through all our up's and down's we still have this connection. One that no one could ever break, and that has already given us a beautiful daughter. I love you, John."

And when they kissed they knew that no matter how much wasted time they had let go by, they would be together ten-fold and beyond that.

The End.


End file.
